Resurrection

I randomly stumbled across the reality that I have a blog.

It's 2026.. first time there's been a proper snowfall for years..

*insert photo here*

Yeah this platform is old no one's probably used it for years.. nothing works.

It's a nice photo too 

Last Day of April

 

Post

So it's the last day of the month so I'm posting. This is just a picture because why really no one is looking at this thing anyway.

An Extra Day

 So, I said I was going to post every month, and it's the last day of the month.. a "leap day" some say. Maybe only me but in any case... still Feb.

This is Oliver, he's a cat, and he sometimes leaps.

This Blog Exists

I've decided I'm going to try to write this year. I've tried that every year for er.. some years now and haven't quite managed to stick to it, but one can always try again. 

So, I have much to say but not sure how much I want to share, that's a bit of a setback.. and I'm quite aware that it's unlikely that you don't.. that is you, the reader don't actually exist and that does tend to dull the motivation a bit. 

On the other hand I can always post an image of some sort and be done with it so I'm guessing that's what I'll mostly be doing assuming I remember to/can be bothered to do it at all. 

I see the last time I showed up here was way back in March. Since then I've moved a few times, well, was between places for a month or two before moving to a new place. I've been in a few theatre things.. one of them was a real actual play, the others were sort of. That's it, not much else to report really, despite the long time between writing.

Speaking of roommates (did I mention them) and photos.. this is a photo of someone who currently shares my living space.

Impressionism

 This is an example of impressionist photography. I don't know if that even exists but that's what I'm calling this. 

The Equinox

The equinox, a 24 hour cycle in which is half dark half light basically. It works wherever you are in the world, north or south, equator proximate or polar... ish. Apparently. 

Well that's today, for everyone. At 10.24pm (22:24 for grownups). I mean you have to account for time zones. And actually I'm not sure if it's the same day for the spring and vernal equinoxes in their respective hemispheres but everything I've stated in this post is close enough to true that it's good enough for me. 

There's a post, probably for this month. Who said I couldn't be topical? *

Anyway here's another picture of me. 

Don't worry it's not my blood.

*probably no one

So this is me

 

  

It's a recent one. I don't really like it.

F it all.

Today, I will be practicing F chord. Mostly the open version if you must know. It turns out I've been playing it all wrong. 30 years of playing the guitar and I don't even know how to play the f-ing chord? 

Admittedly my years of playing have been on and off with more off than on. Still quite pitiful.

So here I am, playing one note, over and over. Fun times. 

Changes and such

So  some things have changed since I last wrote.. or rather since I was in the habit of writing more often than I have of late... 

I changed work. I think, I don't know, when did I last write and what did I write. I could look it up I suppose. I like what I do enough. Still has it's problems but I'm not making enough money.  I still don't have a guitar. Did I mention I really want one and don't have one and haven't had one since all my stuff was stolen a year and a half ago... I did play the guitar briefly once, about 2 months ago, I was quite high and drunk so I reckon I wasn't very good.

I don't think that's changed so much in 6 months actually. I have moved. I was in a hostel for a year. Almost a fucking year. Sad but a friend's misfortune gave me an opportunity to live somewhere else as cheaply as I was in that shithole, without needs for deposit and stuff.. and it's better. It's still... it's still something suitable for someone of my station.. but it's better.

Oh and I changed my relationship status. That was before moving. It's  a good thing and I don't regret it, I mean it wasn't entirely my choice this change was a group endeavor if you know what I mean but it was the right thing. Still, I can't help feeling a bit lonely and aimless.. and a lady of my age... well it's not easy.

So some changes but mostly things suck, maybe not as bad as they did, I don't know.

So I'll finish with an image of Louis XIV, who's record remains safe for the time being. I actually don't have new photos, what am I doing with my life!

 

 

What the hell

 It's  been almost 6 months, I might as well post a photo at least. 

Taken today, September 2022. In fact I couldn't post one from earlier, not straight from the phone anyway because I had to do a full reset because of a problem and I backed everything up at least I thought I did but stuff disappeared anyway.. I mean not the photos but stuff you know.

It may not be the most significant thing over a 6 month period, but it's a thing. Anyway hi.

 

A bunch of springy images

 Just to keep the blog going.

Not much to say about them but you can google translate the title to Finnish or something to make it seem more interesting.

Plus les jolies images

 

 

Because why not.

On the water

 I took a ferry ride the other day.

Destiny and stuff

I don't actually believe in destiny or fate or any of that spiritual stuff, I really don't, logically. I do however often have a feeling that there is some sort of pattern with my life that can't be explained by anything logical. 

Not to get too negative... oh wait that's exactly what I'm going to do... but I've been feeling now for a long time that there's something out there that is just not letting me have anything good. It's not even letting me get out of this pit I've been sunk in for more than 2 years now. 

I'm not saying there hasn't been any good things happen, or nice moments, but they're all very small and not enough to improve the overall ratio of the not sucking of my life. And anything good, however small is always followed by a setback. The thing is I don't need any more setbacks, I don't need good things... which at best are something that slightly begins to make up for how awful my life is... to be balanced by bad. The balance is already way off and at this point I need a fucking miracle to get anywhere near restoring it.

I've had a particularly bad week. It was bad enough already, I got screwed over again, I'm more worried about the future again, and another week has gone by when things have not improved.. again. It was one time and one week too much and plunged me into something of a depression. 

Now the thing I was counting on to help me scrape through to make up for the other thing has fallen through. I'm seriously fucked.

I know there are no gods or anything up there deciding things for me, that's ridiculous. It's a combination of random chance and my own feeblness. It doesn't improve things. It means that my misfortune isn't going to be redeemed poetically by great things that end the story. It more likely means that these seemingly statistically unlikely inexpicably happening to me repeatedly are not really unlikely or inexplicable... they just reflect how the world is.. and how inadequate I am to survive in it.

Night

Same scene, different seconds. The second one is technically a bad photo but I quite like the effect.

So blue

 Random photo time. 

I'm trying to post more frequently, make it seem like this blog is the active sort, however writing about stuff gets a bit bogged down in whining and I don't want to do that all the time so I'm going to go with posting images of the random sort, pretty, interesting, meaningful or none of the above, just whatever I've snapped. 

Hopefully I won't be mistaken for spam. 

Again.

I was in jail

Oh yeah not jail jail, just blogger jail which isn't exactly the same thing, the blog was taken offline for supposedly being a vehicle for delivering spam.. or something.

I came back, obviously. I went to the site for review, proved I wasn't a robot and was back online. 

So if you missed seeing me that's why. I mean it was about a week ago now and was only for about 8 hours so, just shows how much is going on in my life now.

Actually there's a fair bit going on but writing about my real life has gotten a bit one note of late so I'm having a break from that for a bit.

Apparently the blog was flagged as spam. Would be interesting to know just how that happened... *looks around, not accusingly or anything*

Here's a random photo.

So it cooled down already..

After finally warming up. Just in time for April. It even plans to snow. Nevertheless, it's still technically spring.

It's still Spring