Nearly Over

It's nearly over, the month o' Jan, this dreary, broke, empty, drizzly, miserable month. Just over 6 hours now.

Then what? Well the sun will come out* all my problems will disappear and nice things will start to happen... like it always is...

(This is where you insert that now somewhat outdated record scratch side effect)

Ok so previous years this hasn't always, or ever been the case, but it's still January's fault, it has to be, otherwise all this bullshit is a symptom of this new year, this whole year which is going to last a year!!! Or just my life.

So I'm being optimistic, or perhaps delusional but I've decided that this shit belongs with this month and this month only!

*well not as it becomes February as it will be midnight

An image to brighten things up..

in this miserable month..

St Vitus Cathedral, at Prague castle, in the cold winter sunlight.

I should, for once stop being so negative and count my blessings, January is not so bad, it has it's positives, like;

* January is the deadest month of the year, and if you are working in the tourist industry, which I do, it makes the work day a little more laid back, and if you are something of a lazy person, which I am, that is a blessing.

Especially now, as late last year a combination of poor management and Prague bureaucracy took our main sales team out of the most prolific locations of the city and for us it's even quieter than usual this year. It also means the company is downsizing which is going to be a complete disaster for me but we can't have everything.

*It's winter so there's snow, although there hasn't been any snow.

*All the shows come back after the Christmas/New Year hiatus, at least by late Jan.

That's all I got. Still sucks.

Don't bother reading I don't have anything joyful to report...

It's January. Notoriously a dreary, miserable, grey and drizzly time, or if in the southern hemisphere a dreary, blazing, boiling and if in a certain part* of that hemisphere in a certain year** literally on fire, dreary, miserable with bad air to boot....  whatever that means.

This January does not disappoint, by which I mean... it's pretty disappointing, or more accurately, totally sucky.

My whine is a perfectly mundane one so I can't even grasp any relief from the idea of being the heroine of my own dark, romantic tale. I mean I could, but that would be like, totally lame.

Money problems, continued lack of dreams being realized, more money problems, trying to step up and do the responsible thing regarding said money problems and having it get in the way of the aforementioned as of yet unrealized dreams. That one really pissed me off, I mean, I wouldn't have gotten that casting because out of all the relatively many but still too infrequent castings I go to I never get them, but still..

It's like this. If I had done it there's a 0% chance I would have gotten it, but that I couldn't do it because I had to rush off to work after agreeing to cover a shift for someone the evening before because of the money problems I have already alluded to as well as the sense of responsibility I mentioned, and they decided to invite me to the casting just after I'd agreed to work.. I didn't get to do it.

If they'd been organized, I would have had a number that corresponded more to the time I arrived, ie really early, and if the director had been there on time it may have happened and I would know that my failure to get the role was entirely my own fuckup/forgetability/face and I could rest easy, this way, I'll never know.

I felt so good about myself getting up early to go there and then to work, and what do I get for it? Nothing! Why even bother.

I mean it's not like it was a great role and it wasn't all that well paid and this agency has been calling me more regularly recently but dammit, I was good I want my reward!

Fucking January! I want it gone.. and I don't want to hear about how January's nice, it's a fresh start, and the weather is nice where you live because it's cooler or your birthday is in January.. I'm sorry you're wrong the month officially sucks and it's all going to be over with in 15 days and I won't have to deal with this shit anymore because it's Jan's fault.***


*the exact spot I'm from, which had a day that reached 48.9 C at least one day.
**2020
***except for the debt which won't be paid off by then, and the continued lack of ambitions realized and oh, the other stuff.