War on everything.

I found this at Superlicious, a blog I came across in the latest Carnival of the Godless. A little write-your-own-over-the-top-flaming-against-whoever-you-don't-like-today-article sort of thing. Just fill in the blanks.

FOX NEWS SPECIAL REPORT:

Recently, the ACLU has begun a full assault on _______ (noun). This assualt is being led by a group of _______ (plural noun), _______ (plural noun), and Jews. This is just the latest of many attacks against Christianity in America. Christians are being persecuted just like the _______ (group of people) in _________ (country). Read all about it in my new book, The War on ________ (noun).

And here's my rather ordinary effort. If anyone can do better, please do.

FOX NEWS SPECIAL REPORT:

Recently, the ACLU has begun a full assault on pies. This assualt is being led by a group of journalists, shop assistants, and Jews. This is just the latest of many attacks against Christianity in America. Christians are being persecuted just like the banjo players in Mongolia. Read all about it in my new book, The War on People with an Irregular Number of Toes and/or Fingers.