Thursday, March 08, 2018

Short post about nothing.

I was going to write something substantial, that is, I toyed with the idea, and I had something in my head, at least a week ago now, that I totallz wanted to write, but I didn't, so I won't now. I kinda thought I would anyway, but I can't switch the language to English on this computer, and anything substantial or even substantial lite requires I have the proper writing tools at least. Or properish, nothing's really proper if I'm not on my own computer which I haven't had the use of for over 3 months now. So I'm writing this, and this, is nothing. It's a metaphor for my life. A bit dreary and boring, doesn't work properly and not much else. It's existing, not really living, and not in particular comfort or full of frivolous but entertaining engagements, either of which would happily leave me in a, if not blissful state, a state of being able to ignore, for the most part, that this existence is devoid meaning, or hope, or... there isnt another thing, why do I always feel the need for a third thing.. other than it's a common writerly convention that I'm too unoriginal to omit. There's your answer, not that I asked a question properly because I can't find how to write a question mark on this damn Czech keyboard. Where was I just imagine there is a question mark there sorry to not put this in brackets I can't figure out how to do them either. I was talking about my empty life. Yes, empty without my usual beloved distractions. Sad that I could be relatively happy with this life as long as I had internet and tv and could get warm and comfy in my own home often enough, but that's me. I don't know when, if ever, this will change, and if it changes it will for the better, or enough for the better, actually writing about it just leaves another grumble up here for all the world to see and for me to pore over in future, to get even more depressed because nothing will have changed by that time in the future, or not for the better, or enough for the better. I guess this means it's time to stop.. oh well that's enough of nothing.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You can talk via email, if you like? You should have my address.

Michelle said...

hi, sorry to get back to you so late, i would, but I don't have that much time online, financial/technical problems are a large part of my current blahness.. wanted to use a cleverer word there but couldn't think of it, anyway I should write something, personal or otherwise again soon enough.

Anonymous said...

That's okay. I was just wondering if you were shying away from publicly discussing your "predicament".

Michelle said...

ah it's ok to ask, I should talk about it, at some point, it's just all jumbled up in my head that the thought of spelling it out seems too overwhelming. Or some other kind of pretentious twaddle.