so how are they getting on?

who do I speak of? Do I even have to say?

Kafka

by David Černý



via me.

Speaking of milestones

I done 100 of these.


 I'm not sure I was talking of milestones, was I. Well here's one I mean there's one.

update: I didn't really do 100 videos as I accidentally left out #74, so this video is my 99th video. It's a sham!

update of update: I have now done 100 videos.

It's just too much work!

It's April the 1st. This is a day of foolishness, frivolity, fakeness and falsity. It's the day when you just can't trust anything anyone says. When we all try to one up each other on how clever and elaborate our pranks can get.

Well bugger it. Can't do it. In years past I've had the need, due to my mildly OCD need to dorkily follow time sensitive themes, I always felt I had to do at least something, on this most silly of days, to partake in the revelry. I've done some elaborate ones, mostly not but I always and by always I mean sometimes, acknowedge it. This year it's too much. Can't think of anything, can't be bothered, it's not just the blog, there's flickr, and Facebook and now I'm doing this video project and it's all too much. I mean I did this photo..



of me being silly, and a video that kind of goes with it, and mentioned something on Facebook that no one paid attention to but that's it! This day means nothing to me.

What I've been doing..

with my time.



*whistles*

Hey.. another month!

It's June now. Still not working, still not ready to start for one reason or another, it's raining, still not doing any theatre and still haven't finished editing the one small very modest video we shot a few months ago and haven't gotten a chance to do the other shoot that's been on the agenda for months because it keeps raining on the weekend. I have some new videos, well one.. it's nothing, I just made it so I'd have at least one single upload for the month, and didn't manage to edit the other one yet (see above) because of an inability to use audio editing software, partly anyway.. and of course I didn't make, edit or do any all month otherwise... and I have another that's not really new, actually it's about a month old, the one I uploaded at the end of last month so I'd have something... but no one's looked at it yet so it's kinda new.

I mean, the whole point of setting myself the modest goal of uploading one fucking thing at least a month was to motivate me to make these videos, edit, upload and have a whole lot of material, get better and better at doing this stuff.. but, every month I manage to scrape through, quickly editing something or shooting something pointless just so I have one.. I'm going to have to set myself more difficult or specific goals, I think.. something I can easily fail at.. maybe I'd do better :). I don't know.. maybe I should stop worrying about any of this and just, get a job already.

I wish it would stop raining.

And finally.. my feature film..

*feels very proud and stuff*

*looks around*

Just get me more coffee..

something new.. ish.

I'd really like to have something to say which isn't about how fucking cold it continues to be..

But fuck! It continues to be so damn cold! Was out tonight... to stand around for a bit and then wait around a bit to go home.. no tour.. too damn cold. Not too disappointed that I didn't get to walk around in the freezing cold trying to entertain people who just want to get the fuck somewhere warm.. but it does tend to reduce the money ones makes over a month...

yeah there's other stuff.. I spose.. finally uploaded another video.. plan to make more, edit more and upload more soon. And this time I mean it, like soon soon not.. maybe think about it in another month soon. Seriously. Soon.

2011..

Is nearly over. There are 8 hours and 36 minutes left of this year in my time zone, as of posting. It's actually already next year in some parts of the world.. hi family.. how's 2012? Here, it's still the old year.. and time to reminisce...

*picture goes all blurry while harp plays*

Well.. really, it's been much like most other fucking years, didn't achieve nearly what I wanted to, or what would be a regular level of achievement for a normal person, or even the modest tasks which I more realistically set for myself, but it wasn't so bad.

Did some travelling.. big trip to Canada and a stop by Berlin, and London, and later to Paris.. started a new job, something completely new as a tour guide, and made a much more concerted effort to get registered with casting agencies. It yielded exactly nothing but.. well, that's actually kind of crap.

Was in a few video project thingies, and an actual movie.. at least I equaled my average for a year.. and actually began making my own stuff. Started quite late in the year, and didn't do nearly as much as what I wanted to, and it's all pretty.. well.. bad, but considering I'd done it not at all any previous year this is a huge achievement. I think, even with the travelling, and actually having some formal employment, this is my most prized achievement of the year.

And when I look back on what I said a year ago ..

For the next year.. I dunno, more of the same, more movies, acting in and making, better movies.. both again. Get a job, an actual job that pays money and.. well, just be super awesome in general.

I haven't done so bad, I mean yeah, I pretty much did all those things, an of course, the last one I achieved quite beautifully :)

Goodbye 2011.

This is something..

I suppose.

Yeah, did another one of our episodes.. this one about trains. I don't really like it but I put it up and I'm linking it here anyway. These episode thingies are not going exactly how I envisioned.. this envisioning which began long ago and has finally been done a few times after many false starts.. but I've liked most of them, kind of. this one.. er.. I dunno.. I know sometimes you have a bad day and anyone can have times when they don't have much to say that's interesting.. though of course when the subject is trains how could that be ;)... but I've realized, and particularly after doing, and viewing this ep that.. I'm just not that good at this. The idea was to be interesting, funny, silly.. and i take it so fucking seriously? I mean... Erik's cool, he always says something witty but I'm always trying to get us back on the boring track. Don't know why I do it.. I suppose I can train myself out of it, anything can be learnt, or unlearnt. Oh well.

If I thought I had any laurels..

I'd probably rest on them.

Fortunately, the period I felt like I was finally going somewhere, or at least finally beginning to edge forward in the right direction was short lived. I got a role, yes, this was and is still a positive thing, but for one thing by that point the need to create my own stuff was strong, so I'm still (fully intending) on doing it. Haven't actually done more since finding out, but it's still no 1 priority for me.

I did have another audition yesterday, which I already spoke of. In the evening I went back to the spot, finding it easier this time, to see a play. It was alright and the night was fun, spoke to some people I don't usually see. Some people, not all people cared to speak to me at all.. I mean, I know they all know so many people and have so much time but.. it was clear that I'm nowhere near being one of the cool crowd yet, if there's a chance I'll ever be. Pathetic really.. 30 fucking 8 years old and I'm still trying to edge in on the popular kids group. At least a little acknowledgement for a second.. "looking forward to working with you".. just choosing the cast list now... hint hint, er.. yeah, like I said your audition was really good..

ok so I know I'm in at least one thing.. that's good.

Went along for another thing today. Just joined in a video shoot for a promo for a new organization. A bit of a saga there too.. had trouble getting info from them, the guy who I emailed wrote back 3 times asking more questions and then went home for the weekend before giving me the time and place.. fortunately I got the info last night, so I went along.

Turns out this dude was at the theatre last night.. I think I was sitting right next to him.. whatev.. anyway shooting the vid was fun, we got free food and did a bit more socializing, and it's something else my face will be in, so good.

Nothing else on the horizon for the mo... gotta get out there and do my own stuff! I totally will this time.

Um... what?

I finally finished something.

:)

Kay.. w.t.h...

Here's something I finished recently...

still got a long way to go.. :/

Despite it all.. it's been pretty good.

Been a pretty good weekend, despite having to work, and the ongoing battle of the demon which returned, did I mention that? Well it was banished again this morning so we'll see how that goes.. however, in spite of all this, we've had a pretty good time these past 2 days o the weekend.

One reason being, that standard, boring old chestnut that people have a tendency to bang on about ad nauseum, the weather. It's been nice! Sunny and stuff, something that rarely happens on the weekends so, took the opp to go out, hang out in a beergarden and play Scrabble. Yes, Scrabble!

Had to work, but just one tour and it was quite nice, a small cozy group, which are always more fun. Today I was actually productive and am terribly proud of myself, finally got around to uploading something I filmed a week ago, the delay has been due to the elaborate editing I planned to do on it, and well, after about a week of not getting around to it, I edited it, without some of the bits I wanted to do, and the parts which I did done very crudely, but you know, at this point I'm happy to have it uploaded.. so pats on the back for me. As well as that, I filmed something new, and I shan't promise a time frame for when that will be seen, but I just want to say this one will be up faster, yes, you can quote me on that. Of course that doesn't mean it will be, necessarily..

and that's pretty much it, off to work in an hour, and tomorrow it's Monday. Looks like rain...

One more thing before I go.

I mean I don't have time.. I still have to pack, and tidy up and.. well, the stuff I didn't get yet isn't gonna get got so.. spose I'll make it.

Been shlepping, rushing, waiting and.. well let's be honest spending plenty of time farting around, it's something I always manage to find time to do, but I've gotten stuff done, so you can be proud of me.

Speaking of.. just before I go, I don't want to forget, you know that thing? The thing I was going on about for like, ever, and never did anything, and then I did something but couldn't show it, and then I didn't do anything for a year and then I did and I fucked it up again, and then I did something else and for some reason didn't upload it, and then a little bit later did more and finally I uploaded an intro to the actual thing I'm doing?

Well this is the actual thing I'm doing.

See ya later.

It's gaining on us..

Off for a big adventure again in just 3 days. On Saturday we're going to Berlin to spend a few days before going to London where we hopefully get to spend 4-6 hours in the city and then fly to Vancouver. Then we have a wedding and bat mitvah and a bunch of dinners and hopefully some seeing of the city and surrounding environs.

I really should get some sleep, but there's packing, cleaning, making sure all loose ends are tied together.. not forgetting anything, editing videos and uploading.. oh, did i mention? I finally uploaded something from that stuff I've been talking about for ages. Well.. the beginning portion, the intro that leads to the main part of what I'm doing so.. well here it is. I mean.. not much, the quality's bad, the sound is bad, I had to edit it in youtube's editor because when I converted the weird file the video was taken in everything was out of sync and.. well anyway, editing is average at best, but whatev.

So.. I really need to be doing stuff, proper stuff like, ya know, getting ready.

Nothing in particular.

*whistles*

Well I tried it.

And it didn't work. What I need to do is transfer some filmed footage from a tape to the computer. I looked it up, found out you can do that with Windows Movie Maker 2, I tried to download that, kept being taken to another page and couldn't find a download for the actual program, then I realized it's the version I already had.

I wiped the egg off my face and carried on. Well this is after trying it in the version I had, and it not working and the battery dying almost immediately after I did, so I charged it and tried it again after all the previously mentioned stuff.. knowing that it's the right version and it still didn't work so I don't know.. I need another connection cord or something, this one fits the camera but isn't the one the cam came with, don't know where that is, if it's even in this flat, but you'd think if the knobs fit in the bits then that means it's compatible.. apparently not. Either that or there's some other problem.

So that stuff is still stuck there until such time as I figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do with it. And I've got a sore throat, I hate having a sore throat. Grrr.

I did it!

I was recently talking about certain stuff that I intended to do. You know if you've been reading and if you haven't you probably don't care so whatev..

Anyway, I didn't do it.. then put it off.. and then some more time went by and I'd done nothing of the sort. Then I put up a reminder on the blog, so that people would egg me on more.. no one did as you care so fucking much but what can one do.

Then.. I did something! It wasn't a whole lot, mostly the embryo of what's allegedly to come, and some practice filming, but it was something. That's like a week ago now, but it involved using a borrowed video camera with film.. you know like for video 8 or something.. and as I don't have a player.. don't know where the cables for the thing are and how to convert them to something we can put on the comp even if we do find them so in all that time I've yet been unable to put the footage that was shot onto the computer, and without having stuff on the computer nothing happens in this day and age so.. well, nothing. Haven't been able to do anything more with it, ie get it out there so people can see what is admittedly excruciatingly awful and embarrassing and potentially never to see the light of day anyway... and haven't been motivated to shoot more because when you can't do anymore with it why bother.

But I did film some stuff.