should I write, should i what?

well.. all this whining on the rare occasions i show up here without really giving details is getting old. Problem is, without doing that, what the hell do I write? I could go into details, maybe I have to, thing is, I don't want to, I really don't want to now. Because things are fucked, really really fucking fucked. I'd say I've descended into the depths of fuckedness but that would be inviting things to fall even further, because they can, they always can, and they usually do. Things is, it's not all that bad so if I go into details, not that it makes all that much difference once I've already declared that yes, things really are shit, whatever they are, but then I'll get all this (at least a bit of it from probably at least one person) seriously concerned and giving suggestions that a: I've thought of and b:e just aren't going to work because things, and I don't have to explain my reasons for everything and meanwhile not actually being able to help because in this case none of you are near enough and that's cool because I know most people just can't, so great, and I know you would all help if you could and already get points for that.. sorry, been a bit like that already and it's a tiny bit annoying and I know it's awful to complain about it because people really are just concerned and want to be helpful. So, I'm currently "between homes" which is kind of a pain, to put it Britishly, and my cats, which were getting a bit numerous and out of hand for anyone without a country estate anyway have gone to live somewhere else, and I miss them terribly. And my stuff is still on the stairs of my old building and taking time getting moved for general reasons which is really getting on my nerves. So that's how it is. I think I gave enough details there.

and just because there aren't enough of them around here..

kittens! all 3 of the little destroyers.. I mean darlings

so how are they getting on?

who do I speak of? Do I even have to say?

speaking of kittens..

did someone say kittens?

well, kittens have turned this place into crazy cat house, which I quite enjoy. They seem to get up quite early in the morning, before the drilling and/or hammering starts. Usually first I wake up to Cecily running in and out of the room, meowing in her, "kittens are about" sort of way, and I hear noises of crashing, banging, rustling, running, jumping, etc. Sometimes one of them crawls into the room for a bit.

Then they spend the day alternating between sleeping, running about from one room to another, getting into every nook and cranny, climbing what they can, getting into shoes, playing with toys and whatever they decide to be a toy, which is pretty much everything as their mother tries to keep track of them. Sometimes they let us stroke them, well 2 of them have now decided sometimes I'm their friend, and sometimes they're still afraid of me, and one is still just afraid. And all the time making crashing, banging, rustling.. etc noises.

And sometimes they all snuggle together, like this.

Kittens update.

Dammit!

No update, nothing, bugger all. Those kittens remain secluded, sequestered away by their overprotective mother. I think. I'm beginning to wonder, for about the 4th time, perhaps the 6th or 8th, if there are any kittens. They've moved further behind their wall which has somehow been realigned by a cat. I don't hear them, I don't ever see any signs of them. Cecily keeps behaving as if there are kittens but she might just be mad for all we know. I have thought this before as well.

It's been so long since she had them, and since I've seen them (again) that I don't even remember there are kittens most of the time, by now they should be completely taking over this place, front and center of our whole world. These little furry babies have to be getting to the age that they need to move about, to go out and explore, see the world! And I want to see them?

Anyway, I'll continue to update you. Or not update you.

Something to ponder..

I've been looking through my stats recently, and it seems that people looking for Meisner Technique related content seem to find the blog regularly. Specifically people looking for difficult activities for it. If you don't know what this means, which you probably don't unless you're one of the people looking up Meisner technique activities, and actually stuck around to look at the front page (or in fact that this is the page your search leads to, which is likely seeing as I'm using those words repeatedly in it) well I'm not going to explain it here, it's just something that one uses while doing the Meisner technique.

Now.. the problem is, my posts don't have any help for people who want help with finding said difficult activities, just me going on about my classes. I thought I should get back into doing it, for the purpose of being more service to those people.. and well, getting back into the acting thing which I haven't been doing at all for like.. years.

But, of course, one of the major reasons I quit going, apart from being a lazy fat ass, is that I could never think of activities that were worth a shit, neither difficult or meaningful or any of the other criteria that you need for them.. so there'd just be more of me grumbling that I can't think of an activity. So not much help there then.

I'm afraid I'm not a lot of use to the people who come here for interesting knowledge about cats either.. although that's something I can study.. and maybe offer to readers, one day.

I'd like to be of use to someone somewhere :)

The Silliness is On!

I now pronounce it officially Silly Season! Circumstances have made it impossible for me to pretend it's still regular season. It's ok to go be silly now.

Yesterday was Mikuláš, a xmassy predecessor to xmas which is celebrated here in the Czech Republic. We started the day regularly enough, going to visit the kitties, fed them food Cooley refuses to eat, saw old friends, and some new kitties and the official cat lady, who in broken English told them all their names (not the real names, the names other people all them) and a bit of history.

It got dark, and colder so we popped into a cafe we occasionally visit. Had relaxing liqueur coffees with light ambient jazz playing in the background. There was a slight disruption to this peace as a couple with a huge pram (with child inside) squeezed past me, forcing me to move my chair.. I know, the nerve.. but I got over it.

A little later a sooty devil came in, followed by two angels and St. Nicholas himself, took a table and sat down. We were completely unfazed by this, as it's exactly the day of the year one expects to see these characters. They were joined shortly after by another angel, but an angel that made us sit up and take notice, she had an elaborate headdress, big silver wings and a tiny violin. "She's a musical angel" I noted, with interest.

She began to play and I retracted "musical" from my that. It wasn't bad exactly, just.. as I said it was a tiny violin (or whatever instrument the one that's smaller than a violin is) and played only high notes, and a few songs she played I believed hadn't been practiced so much, that's all. The child however, had a stronger opinion on this free show. She started crying, that is screaming the way children do when they're displeased with something, so we had a bit of an opera going with the tiny high pitched violin on one side, and noisy (and high pitched) child on the other.

This was the moment when the season officially became silly. That is, sillier than my "regular" seasons, and believe you me, that is considerably silly.

We stayed a while longer, simultaneously amused and horrified at the spectacle, the only other thing of note that occurred during that time was another couple with a huge pram, this time squeezing past Erik came in. I was sure that this new child was going to join the opera before long, but he just slept, and slept.

Meanwhile, the parents of the other child were trying to soothe her, to get her to stop crying but to no avail, she calmed down for a short time while the angel stopped playing and decided what to play next, which should have been a tip off to anyone paying attention, but the music went on and so did the wailing.

When it became enough (after about 10 minutes) we left. To Namesti Miru we went, to continue the silliness. There were a lot of people, not too many characters but we indulged in a hot wine and took silly ghosty shots of our heads, a giant christmas tree and a few devils and St. Nicks. Overall it was pretty silly.

The plot thickens!

My oh my those cats could have their own soap opera, particularly the dashing Zorro, who we learnt in a previous episode is actually a girl.

Well, yesterday I went by and saw little baby Schwarzie again. He didn't want to come out this time but we watched him play and be motherly smothered by Zorro. I even got a cute little video of them bonding.

There was another woman there at the same time, who was relating to any random person in the vicinity that it was odd that there was a little one there, as all the cats there have been "done". Apparently she's an authority on this sort of gossip because she knows someone who works there or who would otherwise know the status of these cats..

So, either she's not mad, making it up, or somehow mistaken, or Sdhwarzie isn't really Zorro's! No biologically anyway.

Hmm.. well. It does seem that there is only one kitten there. And we didn't see it before last Saturday, and the mother was, just a few days before that dashing about like she didn't have a care in the world, certainly not like someone who was either pregnant or had just given birth.

But on the other hand.. Zorro does seem to have taken to little Schwarzie quite strongly, she follows him around constantly, is always watching him, cleans him and it even seems like she fed him once or twice.. or were we mistaken?

It certainly is a mystery.

Shock! Horror!

What an amazing weekend I had, full of amazement and revelations! Oh I can barely contain my excitement...

Well, remember Cooley, my newly adopted kitty who was featured in the last post? She has been in a bit of a mood lately.. let's just say she has needs. This means that despite being utterly adorable she can be a bit much sometimes.. and we've been thinking of hooking her up with a nice man. We had our eye on a guy who hangs out at the Vinohrady Waterworks, which is kind of like the Colosseum except that it's where we get our water from in this local area. Anyway cats live there, including one particular handsome chap called Zorro. We've been considering inviting him over to hang out with Cooley a bit, trying to come up with the right proposition, that sort of thing. Until this Saturday.

There were no cats around at first so we waited.. then we heard what sounded like a meow. A very faint, high sound, but definitely a cat. Then Zorro jumped out all of a sudden.. so we thought it was him.. a bit later we heard the noise again.. this time knowing it didn't come from him. That was the sound of a kitten.

Kittens!!! So we hung around until we caught site of a little black tail amongst the bushes. We watched and tried to coax it out as Zorro watched carefully.. hmmm..

The kittens managed to jump up onto the fence and played with us a bit, which was cute. Zorro watched on.. hmmmm... Ok, by this time it was pretty clear that Zorro was being what one could accurately describe as "motherly" here, but when we saw kittens drinking milk from his.. er her nipples.. well.

Anyway.. bit of a blow for Cooley. I mean, I don't think he'd be quite right for her now.. well... who knows, she might be if Cooley is into that sort of thing, but Zorro being a new mother has her paws kind of full right now and probably doesn't have time for too much fooling around, so we're just going to have to figure out who the man is amongst that group, and perhaps convince him to come over.

And the kittens are so adorable, I can forgive Zorro for not being the man I thought she was.

Things you learn when your man who you met online leaves his job, uproots himself and moves to Prague to be with you..

Cats are like alarm clocks with no off button, just snooze. And they can't set the time yourself it's done automatically, and they don't just stay where you put them, they run across the headboard and meow in your face while you're trying to sleep. But they're very cute all the same. Oh I forgot to mention he brought his cat.

Yes, this is completely fucking retarded.

So I'm going to post it.

Boreded Cieling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs
1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded the skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated it.
2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
3 An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1
6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.7 An Ceiling Cat doed the skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.
9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all teh waterz in ur base, An Ceiling Cat hadz dry placez cuz kittehs DO NOT WANT get wet.10 An Ceiling Cat
called no waterz urths and waters oscunz. Iz good.
11 An Ceiling Cat sayed, DO WANT grass! so tehr wuz seedz An stufs, An fruitzors An vegbatels. It happen.12 An Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish good, so, letz there be weed. (and catnipz 2, so wen i makes kittehs they can getz hai.)13 An so teh threeth day jazzhands.
14 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has lightz in the skiez for splittin day An no day.15 It happen, lights everwear, like christmass, srsly.16 An Ceiling Cat doeth two grate lightz, teh most big for day, teh other for no day.17 An Ceiling Cat
screw tehm on skiez, with big nails An stuff, to lite teh Urfs.18 An tehy rulez
day An night. Ceiling Cat sawed. Iz good.19 An so teh furth day w00t.
20 An Ceiling Cat sayed, waterz bring me phishes, An burds, so kittehs can eat dem. But Ceiling Cat no eated dem.21 An Ceiling Cat maed big fishies An see monstrs, which wuz like big cows, except they no mood, An other stuffs dat mooves, An Ceiling Cat sawed iz good.22 An Ceiling Cat sed O hai, make bebehs kthx. An dont worry i wont watch u secksy, i not that kynd uf kitteh.23 An so teh...fith day. Ceiling Cat taek a wile 2 cawnt.
24 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has MOAR living stuff, mooes, An creepie tings, An otehr aminals. It happen so tehre.25 An Ceiling Cat doed moar living stuff, mooes, An creepies, An otehr animuls, An did not eated tehm.
26 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh qte, An let min p0wnz0r becuz tehy has can openers.
27 So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps taht waz like him, can has can openers he maed tehm, min An womin wuz maeded, but he did not eated tehm.
28 An Ceiling Cat sed them O hai maek bebehs kthx, An p0wn teh waterz, no waterz An teh firmmint, An evry stufs.
29 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, the Urfs, I has it, An I has not eated it.30 For evry
createded stufs tehre are the fuudz, to the burdies, teh creepiez, An teh mooes,
so tehre. It happen. Iz good.
31 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthx bai.

And no, this is not substance.

Still nothing..

Nothing to write about so here's a pretty picture.

Now all I need is the cats.

I've come one step closer to realizing my dream. Yesterday I moved. Into my own flat this time. Finally after years of sharing I have my own place.

Actually though, right now I'm sharing it with someone for a short while. This is because the time I needed to move out of my other flat coincided (closely enough) with the time a certain person I know is leaving town.

And that will bring me yet closer still to my ultimate ambition of being a mad old spinster. For when he leaves on that jet plane, never to return*, I will be truly alone, with no one to love, or care about, or talk mindless nonsense with (someone cue the violins here please).

At least I'll have my own place, and now I can finally get some cats, and really, who need a man when you've got a kitten to cuddle:).

And of course it opens up more possibilities for better self portraits in exciting new environments. Oh yeah, I'm gonna have a whale of a time, (sigh).

*with vague ideas to maybe come back one of these days, but I'm not holding my breath here.

Mad, complete with cats.

I was just reading something, that's actually a link to something, which has nothing to do with what I'm going to talk about really, (the main subject of the piece is pubic hair, and I know none of you are interested in that subject) but something about the first paragraph jumped at me.

I am a 40-year-old single heterosexual woman, living in New York City. Just like thousands of other women I wonder if I will ever find The One, or if I will be a lonely old lady with cats who yells at the neighbors.

Hey, why you dissin' on cats lady? In fact, why is this cliche repeated over and over, with single ladies always claiming that they don't like cats, they don't have cats, feeling the need to defend themselves from the oh so terrible accusation of having cats!

Well fuck that! It's ok to have cat. It's ok to have one, it's ok to have 2, it's ok to have 7. It's ok to have cats if you're a man, it's ok to have cats if you are a traditional nuclear family with 2 3/4 children. It's ok to have cats if you're a gay couple (male or female), it's ok to have cats if you're a not married childless woman in her early 30s who is nevertheless in a relationship with a man creature, it's ok, in fact, to have cats if you are a single woman over 40 who is not and isn't going to be in a relationship any time soon. Or ever!

In fact, it's ok to be a mad, lonely old lady with cats who yells at the neighbours!

I don't have cats or any pets. I am as you may well know a single woman in my 30s. This doesn't bother me. The fact that I don't have cats, and don't actually live alone, and am in something that might resemble a relationship to those who use the word loosely (with a man, no less) might make a difference, but really what I want out of life, and will have once I get my shit together (which is going to be real soon now), is to live alone, in my very own place, and to have cats!

Two of them actuallyboth female. There will be no males living in my home. How's that for mad?