Procrastinator Extraordinare

That would be me. Many would claim the right to that title, but it goes to me, I awarded it myself. I really really really really really really do put things off. I'm not just talking about doing the homework, or sweeping, or telling that person that thing you'd rather avoid but know you have to do it at some point and there's no getting out of it, I'm talking about everything. Even things that are not even all that bad, such a big deal or so much work.

I can't even reply to an email or a posting of something I'm interested in (job, role etc) right away. A simple case of saying hello I'm interested in this here are my details, the exact same thing I've written before so I don't have to really do any work for it. The result is that I get around to doing things too late, quite often, sometimes I just don't bother, I talk myself into saying "well, I won't get it anyway, and it's too late" etc etc. There are times it doesn't make much difference and I don't get the thing because I fuck it up at the meeting or I'm just not what they're looking for because well, I'm never what they're looking for but yanno.

And of course there are those things that are run by small companies, groups, bunch of people getting together to make a movie that are about as well run as my inner management group and when I send them an email just in time or giving myself a few days I end up not getting any reply because, well, they're only considerably more competent than I am, which isn't saying a lot. I think I just experienced one of these things.. couldn't just reply and say "hi, this is me I'm interested in this.. bla bla bla a few things about me" no, I had to leave it, put it off, go back the next day and completely forgot what it was that I had read that I should apply for, not find it, then remember what it was later on, look for it again, find it, say ok I'm bookmarking it this time I'll email later, I have a few days, then wait until the day before the last day they say to email, and write to them.

Most likely too late, and it's not a big deal it's something I wouldn't have gotten anyway because I'm sure they're not looking for someone like me and if they're not looking for anything in particular they'll take (they would have taken) one look at me and say "no, not that" but I'm just saying this is what I do and it illustrates why I'm worthy of the title. So there.

I'm doing it again.

That is, not doing it again. Doing it not again. Doing not it again.

Actually I'm not doing anything really, and that, is what I'm doing again. I'm saving new bookmarks, seeing new lightbulbs ie new ideas for things I could do revisiting old ideas for long enough to think I should look into that later on when I'm home and sometimes sending myself a reminder on the phone, but that's about it. All these new things and things that I began and things I thought of but never actually got around to beginning, are not progressing as I would like them to be.

I'm actually currently in the process of editing a video that was shot 6 months ago, that should have been done 2-4 months ago, and am still rather shamefully in the beginning stages of that. Well technically currently I'm writing a blog post, so perhaps I'm avoiding that. How's that for a way to make myself do things, use it as a way to procrastinate other things. Yes, I think that is the entire reason for this post, this one that's about not getting things done. It's fitting.

Stop Procrastinating!

I'm doing it again. I keep putting these things off and off.. and now I've taken so long to do as little as write something down properly, and now I can't remember all the details I had in my head before, and of course, the way I remember it is totally brilliant, and sure I'll come up with something to replace it but it won't be the same, ie as amazingly brilliant as I remember thinking it was.. oh, and other stuff that I wanted to be done by now.

It's vexing!

I did it!

I was recently talking about certain stuff that I intended to do. You know if you've been reading and if you haven't you probably don't care so whatev..

Anyway, I didn't do it.. then put it off.. and then some more time went by and I'd done nothing of the sort. Then I put up a reminder on the blog, so that people would egg me on more.. no one did as you care so fucking much but what can one do.

Then.. I did something! It wasn't a whole lot, mostly the embryo of what's allegedly to come, and some practice filming, but it was something. That's like a week ago now, but it involved using a borrowed video camera with film.. you know like for video 8 or something.. and as I don't have a player.. don't know where the cables for the thing are and how to convert them to something we can put on the comp even if we do find them so in all that time I've yet been unable to put the footage that was shot onto the computer, and without having stuff on the computer nothing happens in this day and age so.. well, nothing. Haven't been able to do anything more with it, ie get it out there so people can see what is admittedly excruciatingly awful and embarrassing and potentially never to see the light of day anyway... and haven't been motivated to shoot more because when you can't do anymore with it why bother.

But I did film some stuff.