10.19.2016

Change is afoot.

I just made a big change. Thing is, I'm not sure it's going to take, exactly. Time will tell. I made this change, I'd like to say triumphantly but seeing as it's due to me failing at life yet again, I'm not sure I can claim that. Again, time will tell. Yes, yet again I've fucked up, or not so fucked up, fucking up has a kind of art to it, people who are fabulously disastrous, people with great highs and lows, people you notice that have a weird and wonderful if sometimes difficult life. What I've done is just amble along, not being good enough and sinking down to generally just below average in a totally not worth writing home about boring manner. It's what I always do. And here I am. So I tried to take control of the situation, allowing me to keep a tiny semblance of pride. Perhaps it's a bad idea, in fact, I know it's a bad idea, but not doing this is also a bad idea and which one is a worse I have no idea, so I chose to do what I damn well felt like, and I don't know if it worked. I even fucking fail at fucking quitting, how does one manage that? The near future should let me know more of what my greater future will behold, but as for now I have to wait until they let me know.