The second that lasts a lifetime..

or at least a minute and a half.

Yesterday I had a bit of a fall. Some of you may have heard this already, but I'll retell the story here. I was on my way out, in my sickly state, to do some business. I wasn't really in the mood to go out at all or to do this thing in particular, which was to register with a casting agency if you must know, turned out it was mostly just filling out a form, but they did take some photos of me on not exactly my best day. Anyway, as I was walking down the stairs of my building I debated to myself whether to bother looking in the mailbox or not.. and as I got to the last step I decided yes I would, while glancing at my phone to see the time. And then, I don't know if it was the change in step, or my slightly woozy state or being on the steps but I lost balance. My left foot sort of caved under me, and twisted around.. and in that second, or half a second I first thought oh shit I've lost balance.. then I thought I'd just wobble a bit and be alright, then I realized I couldn't, maybe I could hang onto the rail or something.. not exactly in this order or those exact thoughts... I just know there was a few points before I realized "this is it, I'm going down". And down I went... from the moment I realized it was definitely happening and I was powerless to prevent it, it seemed like another minute.. and I had another few points.. will I hurt my ankle, will I fall hard, will my phone fly out of my hand and go to pieces.

So I fell, pretty hard. My phone flew out of my hand and went to pieces. I sat there for a while, with my foot feeling pretty sore, and at this point I had no idea how bad it might be, I might be unable to walk. I was pretty unhappy right at that moment. After a second I got myself up, picked up the phone, put the battery in and all that.. and managed to walk ok. I was fine.

Today I felt it again. My ankle has been bothering me, but more in a "day after I've done something strenuous" way than a "twisted" way, and in any case it would have been a problem yesterday if it was a serious problem so I'm glad at least of that.

But I'm still feeling poorly. I've been promoted to having a really bad, loud constant cough. I'm really looking forward to this thing going away completely.

It's the sort of day when it's good to be me..

I'm feeling shitty. Crappy, crummy in fact. It started with the beginnings of a sore throat on Friday and kept on all through the weekend, with added sniffles, some sneezing, some dizzy headcoldy feelings. It sucked. Well it still sucks, I wasn't much better today, at least not in the morning.

Now, this is the sort of thing that sucks no matter what, feeling sick is shitty, and I'm not the sort of person who's stoic in the face of it, I let it get to me as much as anyone can... all I do is grumble about it and don't want to do anything. So yeah, it was going to be shit no matter what. The good part about being me is that I, to be perfectly honest, don't do a whole lot. And I mostly "work" from home, and have some control over the hours I keep so usually, if I'm feeling awful on Monday morning.. I can just slob around home and work on whining and getting better.

But no. Today of all fucking days in my boring pointless life I had stuff to do. Stuff! Like, go out of the house looking professional and navigating the currently largely diverted Prague tram system on a windy and cold (for August) day. I even had a fucking profile photo shot.. while looking red faced and puffy. And I had to go to a bank.

You see, even when it works out to be me it turns out that everything sucks anyway. Told you I had it hard, but you didn't believe me.

Well I tried it.

And it didn't work. What I need to do is transfer some filmed footage from a tape to the computer. I looked it up, found out you can do that with Windows Movie Maker 2, I tried to download that, kept being taken to another page and couldn't find a download for the actual program, then I realized it's the version I already had.

I wiped the egg off my face and carried on. Well this is after trying it in the version I had, and it not working and the battery dying almost immediately after I did, so I charged it and tried it again after all the previously mentioned stuff.. knowing that it's the right version and it still didn't work so I don't know.. I need another connection cord or something, this one fits the camera but isn't the one the cam came with, don't know where that is, if it's even in this flat, but you'd think if the knobs fit in the bits then that means it's compatible.. apparently not. Either that or there's some other problem.

So that stuff is still stuck there until such time as I figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do with it. And I've got a sore throat, I hate having a sore throat. Grrr.

Things that I find kind of weird.

Why is it in all those fake reality show shows, you know like The Office or whatever, the people do and say all these things that are private, supposed to be secret, downright illegal when there's "no one" else around.. ie no one in the scene, but everything that's filmed is supposed to be on film in the reality of the show and in fact they often speak to the camera after doing such things? It makes no sense!

Thanks for the support.

I've recently received a bit of egging on to do the stuff that I said I wanted to be egged on for earlier and recently said I'd sort of done but didn't have the means for transferring it to a format which would make it possible for me to work on further, thus deflating my motivation for doing more of the same/fine tuning my craft/coming up with more ideas/doing other stuff sort of related that doesn't really need for this particular footage to be converted but it's made me less enthusiastic about it all the same etc.

*breathes*

So thanks. And I absolutely promise.. sorta, that I will get it out there. I really really intend to google a possible way to do this when I've finished whatever I'm wasting time on at the moment. So by the next time you ask I will have done that.. unless I totally forget about it until another time I'm in the middle of something else in which case it probably won't get done. And please keep in mind "getting it done" refers to me googling something and probably not finding what I'm looking for due to it either not existing or not being presented to me in a clear enough format for my lazy ass to really do something.

Ok ok.. I'll get something up there. Soon. Soonish. Maybe.

Welcome all...

Say whatever you want...

And I was doing so well!

Fuck! Just when everything was going so smoothly and nicely. Well.. relatively, I mean it totally sucks and then some on top of that but that's my cross to bear and I've been so stoic about it recently.. I think you could say I've bearing it with grace. So hear I am.. coasting along with things being only a little bit below average.. for me.. ie totally fucked up sucking by normal standards.. I watch a nice ep of one of the better calibre of modern television programs on at the moment.. go to get back online and..

well.. you can guess what happened. I didn't get online. This happens often for a little while.. but it stayed not working for hours. Well an hour and a half and I went to bed.

So anyway this morning it still didn't work and continued not working and anyone who knows me, or reads this blog thing like ever knows this is a big deal for me. A big bad deal. So fuck. On top of that I was forced to come down to this local pub to get their wifi.

I told you it was hard being me.

I did it!

I was recently talking about certain stuff that I intended to do. You know if you've been reading and if you haven't you probably don't care so whatev..

Anyway, I didn't do it.. then put it off.. and then some more time went by and I'd done nothing of the sort. Then I put up a reminder on the blog, so that people would egg me on more.. no one did as you care so fucking much but what can one do.

Then.. I did something! It wasn't a whole lot, mostly the embryo of what's allegedly to come, and some practice filming, but it was something. That's like a week ago now, but it involved using a borrowed video camera with film.. you know like for video 8 or something.. and as I don't have a player.. don't know where the cables for the thing are and how to convert them to something we can put on the comp even if we do find them so in all that time I've yet been unable to put the footage that was shot onto the computer, and without having stuff on the computer nothing happens in this day and age so.. well, nothing. Haven't been able to do anything more with it, ie get it out there so people can see what is admittedly excruciatingly awful and embarrassing and potentially never to see the light of day anyway... and haven't been motivated to shoot more because when you can't do anymore with it why bother.

But I did film some stuff.