Satan works in mysterious ways..

Soy is making kids 'gay'

Them damn hippies, bringing on the end of civilization again...

There's a slow poison out there that's severely damaging our children and threatening to tear apart our culture. The ironic part is, it's a "health food," one of our most popular

The slow poison/health food is soy, of course, and the "tearing apart of culture" would be referring to the way it's making everyone gay. Seeing as gay people eat babies and all.

Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality.

Ha! Take your pick boys.

That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products.

Well, there's your culprit then. That settles it. It's not the Liberal media, or women who won't fuck their husbands enough, it's dirty vegetarian food.

via Pandagon

I am so there.

Satan Island, Starring Vincent Price?

Tourist: I want to go home. New York is so unchristian. Look at this, they even have a place called "Satan Island"!
New Yorker: Oh yeah, we New Yorkers are the worst. We even sold our souls to the devil so we could all read.

--6 train

Ooh they'll pay

BERLIN (Reuters) - A seven-member family faces eviction from an east Berlin apartment tower after neighbors complained about loud prayer sessions that keep the whole building awake at night, a German newspaper said Thursday.

Oh, It can't be that bad can it?

"I really don't want to disturb the neighbors but the high volume is needed in the battle against the devil," Pierre D., the 42-year-old father of the Christian family, told Bild newspaper. He is fighting an eviction order in court.

Oh, now I understand The devil isn't put off by them little wussy prayers. You need a real man's prayer, a man's prayer to get that dark lord wimpering and crying. I bet this minute he's scampering off with his tail between his legs, to pick on another poor family. A quieter family.

Neighbors told Bild the screams and singing that are part of the family prayers in the second storey sometimes begin at 2:30 a.m. and can be heard all the way up to the fifth floor.

Well, if that's what it takes...

"We have to work in the morning and need our sleep," said taxi driver Horst Berghahn, who lives on the third floor. He said he asked the family to lower the volume several times since they moved into the building 10 months ago but to no avail.

Oooh, we like to sleep and we need to work. Well boo fucking hoo. I tell you this Mr, you might be getting your prescious sleep now, but when you're in hell you'll be having a wee bit of trouble gettin some rest with those little devils pokin' at your ass won't you? People today.

Satan can't come out and play, he's been a very naughty boy

Some would say extremely naughty, the naughtiest you can be, downright evil in fact!

And I would say, now come on! Evil? How do you know, what did he ever do to you?

It seems as though all he's ever guilty of is tempting people to have sex or have negative, nasty thoughts. And have you ever notice that he never actually DOES what he's supposed to be guilty of? He apparently just makes people do stuff? That makes me suspicious right there.

Let's face it he's a lightweight, he's the Diet Coke of evil. In fact he's not even the diet coke, he's the low calorie version of a warmed up glass of awful so called cola that's produced in the Czech Republic of evil. He's insignificant.

Especially if you compare him to God. Now there's a guy with some atrocities under his belt. In case you're still thinking that God is the good guy, here is a list of just some of the stuff he's responsible for. And this is all in the bible or otherwise claimed by Christians themselves, so it's not like some godless heathen just made it all up.

Expelling his tenants, and creations from their garden for eating an apple

Wiping out all of his creations except for one family in a devastating flood because he decided he really didn't like them after all.

He inflicts death, destruction and famine upon the people of Egypt because of the actions of their Pharoah.

He turns a woman to a pillar of salt for looking back on her city.

He sends his people out to rape, pillage and kill time and time again, just cause he feels like it.

And more recently,

He sent AIDS to punish homosexuals.

Sent the terrorists who flew into the World Trade Center to punish the United States for having amongst their population gays, abortionists and feminists.

Sent Hurricane Katrina to devastate New Orleans, again because of gays and abortionists.

Not to mention the thing with his son, his own flesh and blood who by the way he wasn't around to see grow up. He made him hang on a cross, with nails through his hands for days, being jeered and spat on, in order to save some people from an eternity in the bowels of Hell because of some arbitrary rule he made up ages before that he could easily have just changed if he wanted to. I mean what a dick!

We see here a picture of a God who is a genocidal maniac, and most probably a repressed homosexual. Satan is a mere joker in comparison.

Family Fun

Evolution, schmevolution!

Can you believe people swallow that hogwash! The things people will fall for. Read on to find out the truth.

The Origins of Life

Once upon a time, God was sitting up there in Heaven (which was all there was at the time), jerking off, thinking, "this is getting boring, I need some entertainment." So, being God, he created some. He created a man, a splendid fine, specimen of manhood, (it was in his own image after all) and sat back and watched. Then he thought, "you know, one thing about porn is you need surroundings, you know, a theme." So he created a lovely, aesthetically pleasing garden, which would be of attractive to an individual of His kind of calibre. "Nice, he thought!" After a few hours/days whatever of watching Adam run around with his wang out, he got bored again, (Creator of the Universe you know, it takes a lot to keep his mind stimulated). So he created Eve, a raven haired beauty for Adam to bone. "Now that's more like it" said God while furiously pleasuring himself. Well, even that wasn't enough for God, the finicky bastard. He got bored again, he wanted something a little more hardcore. So he thought of introducing animals. He made a whole bunch, and made Adam give them all names, kinky stuff like dog, cow, giraffe etc, but that's about as far as it went. Until he met the serpeant. Now the serpeant was different to the other animals, slinky, slithery with a kind of evil streak. God liked that dude, and He thought that this animal should have a bit more shall we say, interaction with his human subjects. He communicated directly with the serpeant and got him to go and have some wierd little episode with Eve. He went and tempted Eve, who then tempted Adam and they had some wierd threesome with an apple and a tree. Then God yawned again, realised he really preferred lesbian porn and destroyed the whole thing, leaving his people to go out into the world to fend for themselves. Something from that great wholesome classic, the bible.

Now you know.

And for those hardened Mutant Cat devotees who've seen this before, (again and again), give me a break, my ideas are few and far between and if I want to milk them for all they are work I am going to milk! Ok.