All sought after and stuff.

I had a brief stint of being really popular, then I sort of blew it, and then I wasn't. Well not really.

In all, some good stuff happened and it turned out to be actually rather vexing. A lot of that has to do with my tendency to hate anything unless it's absolutely brilliant and flawless in every way. I exaggerate. Maybe a little. It was also because it was all kind of vexing.

So I'm doing some films again. Student films, shorts, from a one month summer course. I'm doing more than I usually do during a summer month, but fewer than I potentially could have, still more than I thought I would be doing up until yesterday, or the day before maybe.

I seem to have done something brilliant in my initial audition because it impressed a lot of people. I must try that again, whatever it was. I didn't do so well on the couple of follow up readings I had, as I got a 1 out of 3, still, better than nothing. Oh and 2 other people just went ahead and cast me. And someone else was going to then rewrote the part yadda yadda yadda.. long story short I was for about a second really popular. I'm still quite popular, as it is, but not quite as astonishingly so. And, out of all of these films I was considered for and some of which I'm in, only one was for a mother. This is kind of a big deal. Versatility and all that.

Most of the last week I've been waiting for emails from people to tell me if I was available for another time or not, and every time I got an email it was someone else saying hey wanna be in this and fucking off and not emailing again, which again, isn't all that bad, when you really think of it.

In general, it all turned out ok, and I think all the waiting and wondering is over, now it's time to get to work, getting up early and all that, but that's ok because it means acting in stuff and it means money. Oh and lunch. I'm really looking forward to lunch.

The making of..

I'm thinking of a few different version of "the making of" insert title o movie, the one I'm working on at the moment.. and the word working is so broad is almost deserves quotation marks..

ok not true, I do a lot of stuff, and my notes, once I make them legible will be useful, and I do all sorts of stuff around the set, some of them my job or related to my job, and though I do miss some stuff, a lot of stuff in fact, I am doing some kind of work, for many many hours. So yeah, I am working.

Now where was I? Oh yeah, making a movie is.. crazy. I don't know if this one is more vexing and amazing and ridiculous than others but it's just, all those things and more. I wish I could remember one fifth of the details of what happens, but I could do so many versions of the making of.. the musical version is one I have in my head a lot. It would be pretty bad but that would be a movie by me, and I'm not even a first time director.

If I'm rambling I blame my state of mind, which is rambly at the best of times, and lack of sleep and working on something like this, which is vexing and crazy and all sorts of things I've already said in the last 20 seconds doesn't lesson the rambliness. Yes that's a word, I decided it is.

Now I'm going to go do something else.

I appear to have a purpose.

Ah, the long weekend, planned to be so productive, so full of weird, wild and wacky situations, turned out to be a whole lot of sitting around here, doing what I usually do which is.. um.. *tries to think of what I usually do*

I typed up and rewrote a script. Well this was one I've had for a while but I finally rewrote it again and almost got the scene filmed but.. didn't. Met with the "company" talked about meeting again and really doing something this time! That second meeting didn't happen.

Oh well... I did attend a meeting for a real movie that is really going to be made and cleared up my "role" in that one a bit.. I put that in quotation marks because I don't mean it as literally a role, which one might think is what I would be doing on the set of a movie, seeing as acting is sorta what I do, and anything else on a film, not so much, but his time I'm crew. How it happened I'm not sure.. one of those, you know people, you work with them on one thing, it leads to being somewhere else and working on something else with them.. so it's kinda cool. It looks like this will be actually happening.. it's rather exciting really. I certainly am in the position to learn a lot but I know I can do this though it isn't without it's difficulty quotient.

Interesting to see how it will all turn out.

The day I get to grumble.

I know, it's something I usually never do, but today is a very particular day on which it is appropriate to "air one's grievances".

Festivus, a little known holiday where you get to er.. air your grievances. Semi famous for being featured in a very popular 90s sitcom. Anyway whatever who cares.. here they are. (my grievances that is).

Acting "career". Grievance being, well, my need to put the word "career" in those quotes.. don't have one, still going nowhere, did like one film this year, and no theatre or really anything else, as usuall the infrequent auditions I go for come to nothing, well one recent one but I went for a quite a few over the last month and one of the others I really liked the sound of and thought I'd have a good chance at.. and the stuff I've done is poor and small in number. I keep meaning to do a lot more but for one reason or another, usually quite poor reasons, I don't. *grumbles*

Lack of money. Don't have much money. This is because of my job, which pretty much sucks, well it's an ordinary job that I like as much as any I would do, but there are only so many hours I can do it, and at the moment the season is slow and I'm making next to nothing.

My job. Well, it sucks. I mean, it's not bad but it's like any job, which sucks. One reason being I don't make much but there are other reasons.

My latest upload on youtube doesn't have a thumbnail. I mean a proper one.. you know, a bit from one of the clips of the video. This vexes me.

Other stuff.. lots of it. I could be here all day.

Oh yeah.. the world, people are poor, there's violence, illness equality, other bad things. Work it out world!

Another chance..

got one of them castings tonight, hopefully I'll get at least one film.. that'd be cool. Of course I've written it here and the law of the universe or stuff or whatever means that I probably won't.. o well.

I appear to be.. busy..

There are a few things going on in my life at the moment, something I haven't experienced for... well, since last time. It seems like there's so much going on at once at times.. though those times aren't very often. It's like.. I have absolutely nothing going on most of the time, a few breaks in that when one thing happens.. and out of the 4 things I do over the year, 3 of them happen at the same time, so I'm either rushed or have to choose between things, or both.

Well anyway, as I always say, for a normal person the stuff going on right now isn't all that much but for me it's.. not exactly overwhelming.. just different to what I'm used to.

The problem with this right now is that these people seem to be coy about letting me know exactly when shit is going to happen, or ask me when a good time is but I don't know as of yet because someone else hasn't gotten back to me about their stuff.. and when you have like 3 WHOLE THINGS going on at once, it can be a bit dicey.

Of course, one of those things is class, one of which I've already missed for less than compelling reasons, one is something that I haven't met the person yet with and in fact I delayed the meeting because of another thing happening today.. and they haven't gotten back to me so that probably will turn into nothing, and the other is a casting which will just be that, a casting.. and I'm not just being negative here, it's more for a "get to know the group" thing, than for specific films thing.

And the other thing.. well that seems to be going ok, but a bit slow at the moment.

Seriously there isn't that much going on. I just like to make myself feel as though there is.

Help me out here folks..

You (singular) might recall a few weeks ago I wrote about my ambition to finally get off my buttocks and do some of the film stuff I've been talking about doing.. from the simplest example of filming just for practice to a fully blown short crappy film.

Well. I haven't done a thing. Not just, haven't put a film up, I haven't made either a real film or just a practice example of what the cam can do. Neither have I even brought the bloody camera out of wherever I put it last. I also haven't thought about what or where I'm going to film just for practice. I haven't rehearsed the script for my film nor have I written it. I haven't written down the basic synopsis either.

I have however, got a sort of idea for a film, which I've thought about a couple of times over the last couple of weeks and thought I sorta should do at least some of those things. I haven't though.

If I recall, the point of putting it out there that I was going to go ahead and do it, was to raise the curiosity of readers and get them to remind me constantly that I was talking about doing this, push me to do it, whine at me that they haven't seen anything yet, tell other people to constantly pester me about getting up and doing this stuff already... but nothing. Not a sausage!

So I blame you readers, for my failure to produce anything as of yet. It's all our fault.

The pointlessness of being me..

I'm actually kind of busy these days... that is, for me, doing stuff that isn't really making me any money, nor is helping to make the world a better place or what I really want to be doing but there's one thing going for it, and it helps keep my mind off the fact that my life is pointless and going absolutely nowhere.

By the way my life is pointless and.. well.. you can guess the rest.

I've done "literally" nothing acting related this year. Nothing at all! Except for that interview thing with that one group and a filming of being silly on the island with pirates with the same group and a couple of castings that led to nothing and another casting yesterday which led to nothing, at least I'm assuming it led to nothing because it was quite crap and no one looked interested.

Well I have a meeting with someone tomorrow who until this morning I thought was one of the many start and fizzle outers.. who I had a missed meeting with a month or so ago.. so I'll see how that turns out. Maybe I'll have a tiny role in something that actually happens.. it's better than nothing..

Why am I telling you this? I don't know. I figured it was time I posted something again.

That's it, I'm putting together resume.

For acting. A little bit about what I've done. A very little bit, because it's not much, and under skills I'll put "very good at making anxious, inquisitive, scared and thoughtful faces. Experiences in bath scenes. Doesn't have much experience with dialogue but knows some English."

I might need to fill it out a bit.