I did it!

I finished something. This is a thing that I started months ago that should have been finished months ago. I just finally for the most part finished it. Now I can put my full force into avoiding the other things that are still hanging over me and trust me, it's a huge relief to be able to concentrate on those things now. Really, it does kinda help, in a small way.

Ideas, plans, dreams.

I'm full of them. I've been quite productive in coming up with various combinations of those recently. I had a moment there, a few days back where I had a list of things.. and I was well on my way to.. well, doing a bit of them. Then somehow, forgot about it all, despite the numerous reminders I leave on my phone.. every day.. for the same things.

I still have faith though. I will do these things. I want to do these things and I think I can. I just need to set myself a one at a time, or a just a few at a time schedule because otherwise once I start on something everything related to the others goes out the window.. and then when I get past that easy + kinda interesting starting stage.. leave it, go to something else, it never goes further. I just have to keep reminding myself that there are things.. there is stuff.

Tomorrow is Monday, and Monday is the kind of day one does work, so I will start actually making headway with something, at least one thing. And try to dig out of my memory hole all those other things that were once going to turn into something that I forgot long ago. Maybe I should write it all down. Write down everything, as I think about it and weekly make a list of everything, along with noisy intrusive reminders about it all. Or something else, but something. Yes, something.

I Will Do Stuff, I Will Do Stuff.

I'm gonna do stuff. It's official. This time I'm really going to do it, not just get and keep a job, and do it properly, not just get stuff organized and stuff.. and schmooze and get all up in the face of the local theatre people and all that, and casting agencies, but also that other stuff.. you know my own stuff that I've been talking about doing actually I have been doing.. just not finishing, really. I mean.. yeah, I said this for the 4th time a year ago but, this time, I will. Watch this space! I mean, don't hold your breath, there's a lot of editing and in fact, filming in the first place to do, but.. I intend totally to get it done this time, I hope. I mean.. stuff, the stuff that's happened, it's a sign I think. Not that anything has really happened but, I'll take it as meaning it's time for me to finally do this, and that it will happen, and that it will be good. No reason to think that except for that I want to but I really really want to, so it'll do.

Rolling on Shabbas.

Finally got a weekend day that I don't need to rehearse or work or film or anything for some outside entity.. which is fine.. good to have stuff to do, but when you're crew are only available certain times, you like having those times free.. at some point at least.

This was the point. And though it may not have been a super day in the overall scheme of things, or even really that much by the standards of much more established.. er.. whatever it is we are or are trying to be doing. It was still good. Once again much discussion, but discussion that was useful for the growth of our.. whatever it is we are aiming for being, and certainly for being more productive in the future.

And that's after staying out late last night and drinking if not lots then a fair bit. Not bad us.

Omg.. omg..

I did it.

I finished editing.. something.

It's no big deal I've just spent so long on it that it's kind of a big deal. Ok, when I say I've spent a lot of time on it, I mean, a lot of time on and off, and when I say on and off, I spent more time off due to some weird fear of this complicated technology (blushes at the thought) and various technical reasons that kept coming up, some due to inferior materials butmostly due to my inability to figure these things out, and partly due to a number of excuses I made not to do it, based on either of the 2 previous reasons, because of a) laziness, b) the aforementioned irrational fear of something that is actually quite simple.

Anyway, I have a thing, done. Not up yet but it will be.

*burps, pats belly*

Been here for 4 or 5 days now.. I've walked downtown, gone to a mall.. even took a ferry thingy across the harbour or whatever they call it here, bought some stuff, but mostly I've been eating.

It's very full of functions at the moment, the 2 big reasons I'm here both have these sub functions related to them, which amount to about 3 things to go to on top of the actual events, and that's not counting stuff like barbecues, or visiting someone, which also involve meeting with people and eating lots of stuff.

Had about 3 buffets, I think, all filled with wonderful stuff that you pile onto your plate before you get to the part where the main course food is, it's a true dilemma believe me. The good thing is there are lots of salads and fruit things so I'm semi stuffing myself with food that's actually good, so I might get out of this not the worse for wear, that's if I don't drink so much, so.. well, I do that at home anyway so no difference there.

Went to the bat mitzvah already, that was all fun and weird and strange and full of people and revelry, and a lot of food, now we're moving into the wedding and accessories part of the trip, so it'll be a slightly different crowd of people for the next few days.. of course, the common element will be around, and especially the people living in the house are becoming quite familiar..

it's all so much, and also.. well, a lot of relaxing and hanging around, and as I said, eating, so hard to describe. I might get out to town or the seaside or somewhere worth visiting today.. but I don't know. Might just knock about here... and eat and stuff..

*crys*

got no internet.

Well.. have now... but none at home.

Guess I should like.. pay... *shudders at thought*

Weekends are good.

They're especially good when you don't have to actually you know.. work, or do tons of other stuff on the days that are allocated as weekends for the general population.. as I had to yesterday *makes frowny face*

I know.. waaaa.. lots of people work on the weekends, and I do precious little the rest of the week.. but I kind of like the deal where you do precious little if anything most of the week ie "the working week", but without the headaches that come along with not actually doing a whole lot but having a few stresses about it all the same oh shit it's a long story just go with me here.. and actually making really good money for it... it being, not much at all, with no related stresses..

and still getting a weekend, that is not working Saturday, Sunday or public holidays.. and getting a few weeks holiday on top of that.. where you somehow get miraculously paid anyway..

is it too much to ask? Yeah.. I spose. Anyway.. one thing I did yesterday was quite relaxing and an artistic thing so I should be well pleased with that.. and my tour went well.. and by well I mean considering I had someone translating all through it, and those people took off before the end of the tour, someone else making notes, a guy who just had a glazed over totally bored look on the face who came across someone he knew so stopped us even though I was running a bit late.. and the owner followed the tour to see how I'm getting on... it went ok. At least she thought so and that's the main thing. So that's good. I can halfway relax for a while.. until I have another 3 hour tour, the Castle tour which I'm still new at and a bit rusty on the material which is Tuesday but you know the life of us workers is a constant grind. Long after regular folk have gone home from their work.. and on weekends even.. I'm out there, walking over hills, taking people into dangerous and haunted places.. but I don't complain, it's just what I do.

Settling in, doing stuff, not doing other stuff.

Getting used to this living in this new place thing, still a bit of a shambles but ya know... it gets better.

Doing a fair bit of stuff which in my case is "anything at all", involved with some interesting video thing, which I went to a rehearsal for this morning. Still working, studying new scripts (or meant to be) and doing tests for the new scripts.

And speaking of video stuff, and scripts, and doing stuff well more the not doing stuff.. what about all the stuff I said I'd do? Oh.. you probably don't know what I'm talking about.. well there was all this stuff I said I'd do. More acting.. get myself out there bla bla bla, make my own movies, videos, write stuff for movies, videos, etc etc etc. I kinda sorta planned for this month to be a big doing that sort of stuff month, or rather the point where I start getting serious and sit down every day and write something, or film something, and make a list of casting agencies and well a lot of stuff I haven't done. The moving got in the way, yes.. and I sort of forgot about it all but really.. Tuesday that was all done and though there is a lot to be sorted out and cleaned in here, I really haven't been doing so much of that either.

So.. at some point I plan to do all that stuff, give myself a schedule so I stick to it, or something like that. Soon I hope. I hope but don't expect. I probably should at least aspire to doing it properly.. if nothing else.

It "literally" will not end.

Ok, today. Woke up, but didn't get up, tho I wanted to do an early trip to move stuff.. just lay in bed listening to a dude get pissed off trying to find a belt that later turned out to be still in the other flat.

Got up.. milled around a bit, then set off, walked in rain across the park. Get to flat, take some heavy/awkward things, wait at tram stop in rain, run to other tram, get home, walk up 4 flights of stairs, realize I don't have front door key for this flat, it was separate from all the others and I left it in my regular bag which I didn't being. Go back to other flat, start cleaning, try to call dude who has stuff at the flat to get it. Finally get through to dude, keep cleaning, dude comes, doesn't want to take stuff, grumbles and whines, make some plan for later. Go back to flat with key.. come up, bring in stuff plus stuff that was by the door, check bank.. call dude, make plans to meet at other flat, go to other flat.... get together other stuff, awkward things that aren't carried easily.. call dude who isn't anywhere near and isn't going to be any time soon so go back home with stuff.

Let dude in like a minute after I've climbed the stairs.. missing opportunity to have someone help with awkward and heavy stuff up the stairs.. eat food dude got, shower, watch people at tram stop while showering... this bit is actually the most pleasant one of the day.

Run around getting crazy like a frazzled person because everything is in a complete mess and I can't find my clothes for work, or hair dryer and I need it because my hair will not dry before I need to go and it's freezing, though not raining anymore.

Get out of here.. get to tram stop to meet other dude to give key.. he's a bit late, have some other silly issue which results in me being late at the office.. rush to office, change, get lantern etc etc and go down to the Orloj.

People for tour.. a 3 hour tour.. thought maybe no one would come because it had been raining and it was freezing.. in fact I was hoping it, but I got 6 people, all one family.

It was alright.. nothing to write home about or indeed on a blog about, but not a disaster, and it was my first one of these tours so.. whatev.

Get at tram stop as my tram just leaves, despite being a frequently running tram it's just over 10 minutes before another one comes, is slightly peeves, and very cold. Get on tram along with many people including guy with guitar who sits and proceeds to play. Listen to music all the way long, and have Elvis song in my head played by some guy and random passengers on a tram all night.

Get home.. eat, relax do normal boring stuff, go to bed in enough time (hopefully) to get up early for handover of keys and last trip back with stuff..

and that's it.

welcome to our.. spooky.. tour...

bwaaa hahahahahahahaha...

so.. doin spooky tour tonight.. in about an hour an a bit.. telling people all about these orbs they're gonna catch and stuff...

*sighs* bloody spring.. and summer.. jeez.. whatever happened to those days that the sun went down at 4pm? *pines*

oh well.. gotta do it.. come up with some excuse for the whole "broad fucking daylight" thing..

hey, they know what time the tour is.

I reckon I passed..

I had a test yesterday. I should call it a "test".. partly because if you were here and I was speaking to you I'd have fun airquoting that word in a particularly pretentious manner. And partly because.. ok, so I had a test for another tour that I've been training to do with the company I'm working for. A 3 hour tour... (a 3 hour tour) well.. I've been learning it over the lats week, actually going over it, some bits I knew, some I needed to pretty much learn completely because we rushed through training it all, but I didn't just leave it all to the last minute like usually.. not really, and I reckon I knew it pretty well.. still, annoying to have to do a test again.. and have it on a Saturday again..

so I showed up.. wrong spot but let's not get into that.. and we went through some of the stories, people volunteered to say certain bits and I.. if I may say so myself, seemed to do the bulk of them.. and again.. iimssm.. rocked them pretty awesomely.. well.. we didn't do all of them.. we found ourselves short of time after having a beer and some lunch in St Norbert's monastic brewery.. and then getting into a major Prague landmark for free due to the ingenuity of one of our members so..

yeah.. nice day out really. And I passed.

The job thing.

More on this "work" thing I'm doing now.

So, did another new tour last night, the other one we do.. well one of the other ones we do.

Um, went ok.. I guess.

Started off a bit wonky.. again.. shameful! Got there slightly later than I should have.. bad me! Then I couldn't get the key to the hall leading to the office open, and couldn't get in until somebody else came out.

The I couldn't light the bloody lamp.. o and I didn't have a lighter which we need for this, because mine like, disappeared, but I'd completely forgotten to think about it until I was about to leave.. *looks displeased with self*.. but I had matches, but I couldn't light it. *tuts and stuff*

So.. I put on my jacket, hat, umbrella and took some brochures and went to the meeting place. No one there so I sat in the corner trying to light the lamp.. my matches kept going out but it didn't make any difference because I didn't know how to light it anyway. So I go to the spot.. try to open the umbrella.. couldn't at first but then I managed.

Then some people come and ask if I'm the tour they're booked with, so I look at their printout and scour it and stuff and deduce they are.

Well... the cashier and boss came up and figures out they are not with us.. oh and I was standing in the wrong spot :Z.. then we try to light my lamp.. I can't do it, she tries while I hold it but can't do it with the matches.. some people come for the tour and the guy has a lighter so we do it but she's totes not pleased that I couldn't light it, and only had matches, and hadn't done it all before going there, and that I was in the wrong spot.. and probably for giving the wrong info to those other people..

well the two people were again, the only people I had for the tour. Not English speakers.. not really at all.. and not such big photographers.. but I managed. I simplified the language, and used my hands, and overall it went ok.

I did figure out how to light the lantern though.. will know for next time :)

And it still keeps coming..

Doing more training, went on Friday and Sunday and have another on Wednesday and have 3 scripts to memorize for then... of course.. I've barely looked at them so far as.. I have time :)

but as we do more training and they go through more of it with us, I'm starting to think that these scripts are a piece of piss.. as I like to say, compared to everything else.. I mean you've got to know about 10-15 stories (more actually because we'll be expected to do a few different tours) well enough so you can be comfortable with it and keep the flow going and say with your own personal style, be entertaining and suit whatever audience you have.. make sure everyone keeps up, make sure you don't go over time.. make sure you let people out of the underground immediately who look like they're gonna get sick or get freaked out... it's just so much to worry about!

and there's more, like people not having keys, other tours being in your way.. and all sorts of stuff that can go wrong.. well.. I know I can be preparing myself to at least know the stories so well that I don't even have to think about that bit, but I'm too busy doing this right now.. and then I have other stuff to waste time on.. and then I'm going out.. and then... oh whatever.

And that's not all...

Well, I had the big test. The big important test of tests, which incorporated all that I have learned over the last 2 weeks that would decide everything.

Kind of. I did one story.. I knew I would be, didn't know which one but the one I did was one I liked.. I did kind of mess it up a bit, I left out some details I'm supposed to point of a mural thingy, and I slowed down to some very slow pauses to cover up that I didn't know what I was doing.. but whatev..

I did receive some favourable feedback on how I've been doing, at least up to last night's performance... which was probably ok, actually.

Now we need to do a simulated tour for the one who actually runs the tour.. either a whole tour or possibly the same thing we already did, everyone does a different story or a few different ones.. most likely this because otherwise it will take a lot of time.

but fuck.. well, I need to refresh myself with the whole lot again, and make sure I remember all those details I've been loose with because they are particularly important to her.. so I might have to remember them differently, and some time next week, I'll do the final final test.. as far as I know :Z

so.. well.. we'll see. ffs!

The big test.

Is tomorrow. For the last week or so I've been memorizing one or 2 stories at a time about Prague and ghosts and the Charles Bridge. I've done pretty well... even when I procrastinated and left it all too late and even lost some of my scripts.. but I'm pretty good at that learning lines thing.. if there's one thing I can be confident that I've been good at is "command of the script"... I've even been told that. and that's good and all... it can be useful to be a nice and obedient parroter of what you're given sometimes.. well, the earlier scripts I learnt pretty much word for word.. later ones I've rearranged to my liking more.. but I still know them pretty well.

So, kudos for me. The other areas I'm not as sure about.. not not at all sure about, just not as sure about.. and the others are really good too.. and it is a sort of competition. And well.. I like being good at that one thing, but to be honest I'd rather be better at the.. being all conversational and affable and amusing and stuff... you know.. I mean if I get to choose my main skill as being something boring and something cool... I'm gonna choose the cool.

Of course.. because I'm quite good in command doesn't mean that I'm not good at the other stuff... and greater familiarity with the text and being comfortable with it all helps the other stuff.. but.. still. As I said who knows.

So.. tomorrow is the test. We were going to all do a whole private tour for the guy who's training us, but he just doesn't have time to do that, so we're going to do one tour, where everyone does a story each.. a random one, which means we have to be on top of all of them. I'm pretty good with the ones I already knew.. I've been going over them all day, rewriting a lot, trying to print them out and succeeding only with pathetic faint inked versions.. and there are 2 I was previously unfamiliar with.. those are well rusty, but, I have 16 hours to learn them.. that is if you count the hours I'm supposed to sleep and I have learned these in much less so..

we'll see.

grrr.. arrghh..

I've got all these scripts to know before tomorrow evening.. well afternoon if you count the time I need to get ready and get there... and if you want to include the time by which I should know it pretty good so I can then go over it and perfect it well..

fuck..

it's some stories I need to know for the tour guide thing, I've had to learn 2 at a time over the last 2 weeks, get it ready to tell in 2 or 3 days.. and I've managed each time, reasonably well I think, and the last time I procrastinated so long that I had to learn the 2 in about a day and a half, and the other in about 4 hours.. considering on top of procrastinating I lost my scripts..

well, I don't know this time. It's tomorrow and I haven't really started learning them properly.. I don't have the paper versions because after losing the last ones the guy emailed me the lot so just didn't give me them this time, and the printer doesn't seem to want to work and I like using not having printed out versions as an excuse for why I'm not really doing it yet.

Ok I've done some work on them. A bit of editing.. I like to say this stuff in my own words, and well.. the stuff there is written.. kind of poorly. I've done that with all of them but this time I thought I'd go through it right away and write it the way I want it and then learn it that way. Well.. I've edited a bit of one. Ok so I've edited one, with possible more editing later and a tiny bit of the second. I did also learn the very first paragraph of the first one which I have since completely re-written.

I'll probably learn them in time.. I always do, but I also always feel that I'm not prepared enough.. and seeing as I managed to learn them in the time I did I could have started earlier and gotten more comfortable with it so I could be more free with it and work on my voice more etc etc etc.

I dunno... this is kind of frustrating.

I'm gonna do something.

Honestly. I am. You remember a couple of months ago I was talking about this idea I had, I was reporting it here so I would actually get around to doing it, and I didn't get around to doing it until ages after that, and after I'd done it I couldn't do anything with it, and I left it for a while, and tried again, and still couldn't do anything with it and I think I tried something again after that...

well anyway, nothing came of it. But this will happen. I'm doing it with other people this time, and luckily they, at least some of them are more, how should I put it, purposeful than me, so I think something might get done.

And soon! We have dates! For doing stuff! Of course there's editing.. and I'm planning to use the same camera which brought us the previous debacle and come to think of it I should be getting that out and preparing it now.. but.. well, at some point there will be something that someone can see. I promise it. Kind of.