It's my birthday.

This is me.

And the sun goes down.

It's just after 16:00 and the sun has set on that decade of mine that I call the 30s. Some people would say 30's, but I say 30s, deal with it. Never again shall I walk in the sun as a 30 something. *gets all wistful and stuff*

I wasn't going to write about the upcoming changing o age that is coming up, as I've said absolutely everything there is to say about it, and more, numerous times, already, I was going to write about something completely unrelated, like, how on the weather they say it's a certain temperature but feels like another, I mean how can it feel like one thing but really be colder? If it's -1 then whatever that feels like is what feels like -1, and how come it's always lower when it's already cold? If it's -3 degrees, it doesn't have to feel like yet another 3 degrees colder? Of course, when it's 35 degrees, it feels like 38, but anyway, not the point.. as I was saying, temptation of musing on the poignancy of the sun setting on this 30s which is the new 20s and that's at least an 80s 20s so it's more like a late teens to early ish 20s if you're going back to a time when grownups were grownups and it's time for me to to stop goofing about and.. get a mortgage and a couple of grown up kids.. or something... was too much to resist. So I wrote about that. And I have nothing else to say about it now. Finally. See you when I'm 40 ;). 

And yet another day.

Why do they persist so? Another day another entry into this here blog for this month of November '13 and I'm merely 2 days from entering the next big decade. I'm still in my 30s, or the new late teens early twenties as they say, or if they don't they should, but that's coming to a close very very quickly, and I can't afford anymore of these days, so stop it! Stop reading, stop, turning the pages, there's a monster at the end of this book goddammit and I don't know what will happen when I meet it!

You might wonder why I want to stay here, on any of these days filled with pointlessness and petty anxieties, rather than thrust forward into he great unknown, with new exciting things for me to fail at rather splendidly though in a very boring manner, and new things to worry about that don't matter in the least, yes, my current situation doesn't sound that great, but at least I'm doing it all.. that is nothing much, in my 30s. I can't picture myself in my 40s, though, of course being only just 40 isn't quite being in my 40s thank you very much so don't start calling me that ok, well not yet but.. when the time comes, but all the same, can't picture it. And no it's not that I don't look old enough, I probably do, it's more. I dunno. I've mentioned not feeling grown up too many times to repeat it here again but, it's because I don't feel like a grownup. Ok I said it again.

I had this all written out in my head last night, as I was falling asleep, I had such brilliant observations, so wittily presented that I was really looking forward to jotting it down, but I forgot all the good bits and this is what you're getting. The good thing is, I haven't done that in ages, this coming up with something clever as I'm laying in bed at night, to write down on the blog (of course I forget what's any good about it by the time I come to write it down, so don't go looking through the archives for anything good), maybe this blogging every day has finally had some effect. Well we'll see, my brain may be getting something out of this exercise. 

Tonight is the first night of Hannukah, some people say it begins tomorrow, which is also Thanksgiving, but the proper beginning is sunset of the night before the official date, so it's now. We're having latkes. So yeah.. lots of things happening this weekend, it's party party party (not that we celebrate American Thanksgiving) and it's not even December yet! Don't know how I'm going to get through this festive season, in my old and tired state of being.

And it's here again.

The bland, blurry, bleakness of Jan. Starting now and continuing unless the JMG project goes considerably better than it has managed in the past, for 31 days. We're only just beginning, it's a long road ahead.. January 20.. er.. that number, oh yeah another thing, the year is this not considered particularly lucky and aesthetically displeasing number which I'd ideally like to avoid most times, but now it's going to be at the end of EVERY FUCKING DATE FOR A YEAR! And we're right at the beginning of it, the Jan bit, which we're just starting now.

And you know, I kind of like that it's calming down after the silly season, even though we still have people here, but I don't particularly like that it's "back to work" so to speak, which means for me getting serious about a whole lot of things which I can't keep putting off forever and although I skipped the formal resolution making this year I am going to be fff.. well older by the end of the year and.. I'd like to have gotten stuff done by then, might make me feel better about turning.. oh fuck it's so old I can't really be but you know all the same, I really need to do stuff. Starting now. Well tomorrow but that's soon, and there's all too much of Jan left at this point, and there's all too much of '13 left at this point, and by the time that ends I will be that thing that I haven't actually mentioned but you know what I mean.

So.. JMG and all that. At least I'm feeling ok, with being kinda lightweights and not staying out so late (we aren't exactly kids anymore remember) and having gotten to the party kinda late due to being given the wrong address and having trouble getting through to the host for a while and having to Scooby gang it over to the actual address with some people we'd just met and only having a glass of champagne and a little bit of beer and 2 fernets with the guests before leaving there wasn't that much alcohol consumed, which I suppose is a good thing. I'm glad there's at least one.

JMG!