I'm still here.

If by "here" you mean merely existing, being something that is here, and is technically alive. More than that, I can't promise. I do exist, but the existence is nothing special. I am a person, but I'm not a particularly er, persony one. I'm not doing anything. I literally spend all of my time doing a job that is increasingly annoying to me and any preparations for doing said job, and distracting my self with various cheap, indeed free thanks to our modern multimedia world, entertainments. And shopping for basic stuff, and that's it. And sleeping. Occasionally drinking beer, usually home because I rarely ever go to bars to waste time anymore. I'm not all that sure I exist sometimes. I mean, why would I bother, really?

Musings and such.

It kind of sucks that, when you have something bothering you, whether it's a sore throat, some dreaded event, unbearable cold..it overshadows everything. All else can be just fine, even good, but you can't stop worrying, or aching. 

Then it goes away and you don't notice. It's not like.. everything is normal and dull, but not bad.. you're sitting there thinking.. "isn't it wonderful, I'm not sniffling and sneezing"..  I mean.. ok, once the dreaded event if over.. you get warm, there's relief for about a minute, then it's just fine. Other things like being sick.. a cough or something, it goes away, and one day you realize "hey" my throat's not all fucked up anymore in that weird way that keeps going away and coming back and I don't have a cough either.. awesome! Now I can just get on with things and enjoy it all" No. Well not me anyway.. I just say.. oh yeah, it's gone. Whatever. 

Of course, there's always something else to annoy/be worried about. That is if you're me. Not that I'm complaining or anything.

Parrticular grumble of the day..

#5.. or 50.. or 142.. who cares.

Every fucking time I come here people are smoking! And there's only 2 people in here.. one being me!

*grumble grumble computer grumble fucked up keys grumble people smoking grumble*

sigh