Mutant Cat

Now, let's see if this works.

2012-01-31T22:46:00.002+01:00

Yeah.. I've been going on about this Jan thing well.. all month.. the thing is that January is supposed to be a crappy month full of crappy stuff and crappy weather which is at best just unbearably dull and considerably irritating... and yeah, it's been that..

the end of Jan is supposed to be.. the end of all that.. well it'll still be a bit cold at least but the rest, I'm hoping for a clean zapping of it in.. well, just over an hour now.

*waits*

I just wish..

2012-01-30T17:33:00.001+01:00

this was all done with..

is all.

I suppose I should explain in more detail.. er.. actually it's really boring, so I won't.

So that's one more food group to cut out..

2012-01-27T19:06:00.002+01:00

Well.. luckily I don't live in Oklahoma..

OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) — A Republican state senator from Oklahoma City introduced a bill Tuesday that would ban the use of aborted human fetuses in food, despite conceding that he's unaware of any company using such a practice.

I don't usually comment much, these days on the world out there and it's happenings, mostly because.. well it's not usually trivial and ridiculous enough.. ok, there's plenty that is, but for some reason I thought this little nugget of news was worthy of being shared with (possibly) a few more people.

Now, if the senator gets bored, as I'm going to charitably assume he already is and that's why he came up with this idea, I have a few more suggestions for bills or laws or clams or whatever you call them these days, that he can try to pass:

Flying your car in a no fly zone.
Building a structure that is more than 15oom (4921feet) tall
Bathing in the ocean.
Banning cats from driving.
Making hamburgers out of human flesh.
Banning dogs from congregating in groups of three or more on private property unless they have a permit signed by the mayor.

Oh wait.. the last one is already a law.. gonna have to think of your own senator.

Something to do..

2012-01-26T23:22:00.001+01:00

not sure if there's anyone around for this but.. caption if you can be bothered..

*goes to sleep*

Can we get it over with already...

2012-01-25T17:30:00.002+01:00

Yeah.. Jan is being a pain in the proverbial... stupid things, little things that you just feel like a pissy little whiner when you whine about them but they're whine worthy... being scolded by employers, screen going all fuzzy and difficult to read, the spare hard drive er.. smoking, people still not giving me answers to questions and others hounding me for the answers to those questions, long planned projects going awry.. you know the sort of thing..well maybe you do.. you probably know things equally vexing..

I mean, I'm trying to convince myself it's just Jan... and in a little less than a week now things will become magically rosy... *waits*

It snowed.. and it went away.

2012-01-24T16:43:00.002+01:00

Now it seems to have snowed again, the last time I looked outside there was a light white cover on everything.. not sure if it's still there.

Been a pretty dull winter so far, haven't had much snow, yeah I like it.. I grew up somewhere it never snowed bla bla bla and well I like it. I mean, it's going to be winter, and cold, and overcast and drab leafless trees everywhere.. might as well be snow.

And there hasn't been. Until a few days ago and that went away pretty fast, and a bit earlier, no idea how long that will last.

Making movies..

2012-01-22T16:00:00.003+01:00

is for people with money.. and patience, and skill.. and talent, and lots of time, and patients.. and did I mention money.. and the necessary equipment that money buys?

Oh yeah and patience, and skill.. some education in the art.

I suppose it's possible, indeed it's technically possible to make something without all those things, or any of those things, or any of them except for a very little patience and a want to do it, but to do it well. To build up a canon of work that you can be.. well, to build up a fair amount of work in a not endless amount of time..

well it's difficult. Finally got around to doing something we've been meaning to do every weekend since.. lats year some time, and not the end of the year, and technological difficulties came up again. It's always something.

I guess it's a learning experience.

J.. m.. oh whatever.

2012-01-20T12:36:00.002+01:00

January is as usual a pointless and dreary month, partly because of it being winter, partly because, well.. a lot of my life is kinda dreary and pointless. And there isn't even any snow..which is one thing I look forward to this time of year.

And I still haven't done any of the stuff I wanted to get done this early part of the year.. somehow it.. just doesn't happen. All my fault I know. Therefore not much going on, not much of interest to write, in fact, nothing, but still I write.

Maybe in 12 days things will be.. slightly different in a mostly positive way. Then again, probably not.

These days..

2012-01-19T18:39:00.001+01:00

Around here. Just a pic, no reason.

Stop Procrastinating!

2012-01-18T18:04:00.003+01:00

I'm doing it again. I keep putting these things off and off.. and now I've taken so long to do as little as write something down properly, and now I can't remember all the details I had in my head before, and of course, the way I remember it is totally brilliant, and sure I'll come up with something to replace it but it won't be the same, ie as amazingly brilliant as I remember thinking it was.. oh, and other stuff that I wanted to be done by now.

It's vexing!

Limbo.

2012-01-17T16:02:00.002+01:00

Isn't that like, where babies go if they die? To lurk around forever, in a sort of no man's land? It seems unfair.. the babies don't really have a chance to prove if they're good or not and well.. perhaps they are really good but I suppose to God, being babies it isn't enough proof to him that they deserve to go to heaven.. therefore, they have to go to some totally sucky non place.. I mean at least adults who have been shits but.. ya know, they were proper(ish) Catholic shits go to Purgatory, which isn't permanent.. doesn't seem fair.

Rethinking it I suppose what I'm in is more like Purgatory.. though it's not much like either. Just one of those.. need to decide things, but can't until I have certain information which isn't coming through.. and they're taking long enough to answer me about even telling me what the deal is with the information.. and I'm getting some (albeit mild at the moment, though that may change) pressure to give answers.

Don't know if it's limbo, or purgatory.. or just mildly vexing. I think it's the latter.. still.

Why oh why oh why?

2012-01-15T17:42:00.003+01:00

Is it always so damn cold whenever it's nice looking outside? It seems as if when it's overcast, or drizzling, it's relatively warm, but you don't really want to go out there anyway, because it sucks, and it would be reasonable because it's not actually freezing and your toes can tolerate it, and if I have a tour, I do't have a tour.. you know? I mean, if I go for a tour then no one shows up for one because of the drizzling or even light snow (not that there has been much of that) and there's no tour, although it would have been ok because.. as previously explained.. not fucking freezing, and so I don't get much money.

When it looks lovely outside.. er.. sunny. It's freezing! What's the point really.. it looks all pleasant and stuff but it like, isn't, it's really fucking uncomfortable to be outside for more than a minute and your toes freeze like today when I had a meeting for work which took up a fair chunk of my Sunday not that I'm complaining about that and it was largely outside and it was cold. I mean, I remember back when we used to have snow.. oh, last winter and when ti did it usually was warmer than this as well. Don't know why it does that but I'm afraid I don't approve. Sort it out!

Moving on.

2012-01-12T17:06:00.003+01:00

So, the play. It's like official. Had the first meeting about it, with as many of the cast as could make it, yesterday. Woo hoo. It's happening. Don't start rehearsals til Feb, and there won't be so much for me as my role is one of the smaller ones, but I'm doing something!!!!

Now.. I need to work more on my stuff, this is what I've decided will be my big thing this year.. I am in one play, but there is no guarantee I'll be in anything more than that.. though if I do well in this, it may plunge my career into.. well.. doing a few more things than I've done recently, which would be fucking awesome... I'm still rather hyped, as far as I'm all excited about having it, not so much in the planning and writing and organizing and actually doing it part of doing it, but it's what I want.. lots and lots so.

Stay er.. tuned here, I spose.

20 Days Left.

2012-01-11T18:06:00.002+01:00

20 more days and Jan will be over. Then, we can get on with stuff without stuff sucking so much. I surely do hope this hacking cough goes away considerably before the end of Jan.. like, 20 days earlier.. or so. Other stuff.. I can live with.. it's slow out there so there won't be so many tours, not the hugest tragedy tbph and really.. in past years, stuff hasn't improved so much on the 1st Feb, as far as I remember. Not that things really are that much crappier in January than other times of year.

Still.. JMG.

Well.. the new year/holiday/weird season is officially over.

2012-01-10T11:34:00.002+01:00

I can now get my emails up without the ugly digit only dates... 31/12/11.. etc, showing up automatically on the screen. I now have enough emails from this year to obscure those crude, unaesthetically pleasing dates. There are still many on the front page, haven't gotten that far yet, but.. as long as I can see them it's kay.

And it means there are fewer days of January left.

JMG!

Well actually it just means I've received enough emails, which could have happened in any number of days depending on how many emails I receive a day, but there are still fewer days left of Jan than there were.

Still haven't managed it.

2012-01-09T22:46:00.002+01:00

I'm having trouble stocking up my larder.. for want of a better word.. ok I'll just call it kitchen. What exactly is a larder anyway, and how is it different than a kitchen? Anyway, not the point. No food here. Well.. there's food but I haven't managed, and neither has the other party sharing said kitchen/larder/parlour/whatever, to fully or at least respectfully stock it for a few days now, well, at all this year.

I was unable due to mostly laziness and another mildly vexing circumstance, before work, but I had an early enough. tour I'd be able to do it after. I finished my tour and was asked to do another one, after which it was too late to go where I'd originally meant to and.. so, nothing in the kitchen, well not literally nothing just much. And my cough is still lingering.

JMG

Strange Things..

2012-01-08T22:49:00.003+01:00

I have this horrible cough that won't go away. That's not so strange, it's just a fucking pain in the ass. I should be at the end of this cold thingy, but the cough isn't just lingering, it's really really bad and the worst of it should have been over at some point yesterday, leaving me with a bit of a cough that's mildly annoying but doesn't really get in the way of my day to day life too much.

At some point yesterday, I picked up my phone and the time and date was like, 3674 1/1/1/12.. or something. I think it's the Buddhist year.. which for some reason I can set my phone to, and tried it once, because I don't know what else it could be.. I hadn't reset it though, and it stayed like that for a second before reverting back to the regular time I have it set. Weird.

Later on the tram, I got confused, because my phone said 18:12 and the tram time said 17:42, I knew I'd checked both my phone ad the computer, and the time on the website for the tram times before leaving so I was pretty sure I did't have the time wrong, but still.. very odd. Turned out the tram time was wrong, I've never seen that before. What could it all mean?

I had a dream the other night that I was on stage singing a song, but I didn't know the words, so I sang really low, to disguise the fact I was mumbling. Wasn't received so badly, at least, all the bored, unimpressed faces seemed to be because it was a poor performance, not because they could tell I was faking.

The next night I dreamed I was on a passenger ship. I knew I needed to get off soon and swim the rest of the way, and didn't really want to, I found the thought unpleasant and was afraid of sharks, and quite frankly, wondered why this had never occurred to me before the numerous times before I had done this.

Does it explain anything? Would I want any of this to mean anything? Does any of it matter? When will this fucking cough go away?

Well?

Right.. now let's get to it!

2012-01-06T19:38:00.003+01:00

Fuck it's already the 6th of 2012 and I'm still in not really doing shit mode. I missed getting too heavily into all this "stuff".. or "work" that I intend to do, you know.. the 1st or 2nd when the world goes back to work or whatever, I mean, I woke up with a terribly saw neck, and then I got sick... but, well, today's the day you take all your Christmas shit down.. I think, so this is another kind of official end to the holidays so if I don't start today I never will. I mean, not until later.

Of course, it's already evening, so I probably should get with it tomorrow.. except tomorrow's Saturday..

Oh fuck it.. this month is bullshit anyway.

25 days now.

I said it wouldn't be a good idea.. didn't I?

2012-01-04T15:53:00.003+01:00

So, I grumblingly, begrudgingly went to work last night. Felt awful, just your common cold, sore throat, very tired due to said sore throat.. nothing one can't live with but not something you want when you need to lead a group of people around outside at night, in winter, while being all entertaining and stuff.

Well it wasn't bad, cozy group of 6 people, they all seemed nice, and interested, no garbage truck turned up just as I was at the Golden Bears to drown me out.. was feeling a little tickly in the throat but it wasn't the worst. By the end of the tour it got bad, part cold air, strong wind, and bad air down in the creepy catacombs, by the time I was done my throat was terrible, my body weak and sore.. and to make it all just fucking wonderful, the tram was just crowded enough that the 2 women who shoved before me just a few seconds before the tram came, got the last seats left. I really needed a seat.

Today I'm better, I think, at least better than I was when I came home, throat not as bad, bit sniffly, and will be sneezy but at least I can hang around here all night, so I have a chance at recovering.

Of course, tomorrow I've got to go wandering around the Castle up on the freezing, windy hill for 3 hours.

JMG.

grumbles, whines and moans

2012-01-03T16:24:00.003+01:00

JMG!

Yeah yeah, blah blah blah, 2012, new year.. whatever. Despite all the excitement of a new number to put after the 20, it's still the month of fucking January. Yes, the JMG campaign is back on... 28 days left of this shit, and I've already had enough!

So.. have a few hours after midnight of watching some fireworks, enjoying the spectacle, dancing a bit though they did have a really big stretch of totally sucky music at the 80s and 90s party.. after midnight of course, strike number 1 I guess that was.

The next day I woke up with a terrible pain in my neck, couldn't turn my head and couldn't move at all without hurting.. fortunately, someone covered my tour that night, so this particular strike wasn't as bad as it could have been, but still.

Was better yesterday, though it still hurt and I did work last night, thought it went ok, and it was relatively warm, and I was underground for this tour so I didn't think I was out in the cold too much, but still, after I got home I started to feel a tickle in my throat. I hoped it wouldn't lead to a full on sore throat, which leads to a general cold/flu, 4 or 5 days of coughing, sniffling, sneezing and feeling generally shit but after a night of not sleeping in which is got progressively worse, I got up with a really sore throat. And I have to work tonight, and it's a late tour, and it's outside in the Old Town, and it's colder again today.

Jan Must Go.

Fun and Revelry

2012-01-02T22:36:00.000+01:00

New Year's Eve.

And it's here.

2012-01-01T18:51:00.002+01:00

The last year on earth. That's if you listen to the Mayans.

Guess we'll see.

Happy New Year everyone!

And on to '12

2011-12-31T21:29:00.002+01:00

The new year will be here soon, I've already reflected, now it's time to look forward.

*the opposite of the scene getting blurry happens, or something*

Well.. next year I just want to do better. Do stuff, do it better, do it more, that sort of thing. I'd go into detail but it's getting near time to go out drinking.

See you next year.

2011..

2011-12-31T15:23:00.004+01:00

Is nearly over. There are 8 hours and 36 minutes left of this year in my time zone, as of posting. It's actually already next year in some parts of the world.. hi family.. how's 2012? Here, it's still the old year.. and time to reminisce...

*picture goes all blurry while harp plays*

Well.. really, it's been much like most other fucking years, didn't achieve nearly what I wanted to, or what would be a regular level of achievement for a normal person, or even the modest tasks which I more realistically set for myself, but it wasn't so bad.

Did some travelling.. big trip to Canada and a stop by Berlin, and London, and later to Paris.. started a new job, something completely new as a tour guide, and made a much more concerted effort to get registered with casting agencies. It yielded exactly nothing but.. well, that's actually kind of crap.

Was in a few video project thingies, and an actual movie.. at least I equaled my average for a year.. and actually began making my own stuff. Started quite late in the year, and didn't do nearly as much as what I wanted to, and it's all pretty.. well.. bad, but considering I'd done it not at all any previous year this is a huge achievement. I think, even with the travelling, and actually having some formal employment, this is my most prized achievement of the year.

And when I look back on what I said a year ago ..

For the next year.. I dunno, more of the same, more movies, acting in and making, better movies.. both again. Get a job, an actual job that pays money and.. well, just be super awesome in general.

I haven't done so bad, I mean yeah, I pretty much did all those things, an of course, the last one I achieved quite beautifully :)

Goodbye 2011.

If the new year..

2011-12-30T16:46:00.003+01:00

is the time for a fresh new start, putting your head down and getting your shit together.. doing new things and doing those things that you're supposed to do but never getting around to..

then it's ok to just.. bum around and not get much done in the old year.. right?

*does it anyway*

It's getting nigh..

2011-12-29T16:50:00.003+01:00

Night I tell you!

In a few days it will be 2012, the last year the earth will exist, or exist in it's current form, or that humans will be around, or that our civilization will be as we know it or.. something. That's if you believe the Mayans, and that what they wrote has been interpreted correctly, and that our calendar year somehow corresponds with what was written in whatever texts we get this from.. and that they knew what they were talking about..

So.. 2 days left that we know we're going to be here.. (if you believe all the stuff in the previous paragraph) because once we hit Jan 1, 2012 we just don't know how long there will be.. maybe a few minutes after midnight, maybe 6 months.. (unless you're going with the December 21 prediction or whatever other date prediction assuming there is a theory that it could be any other date which I'm not sure there is, but that would spoil half the fun wouldn't it now) so you might as well part it on up on NYE.. get as drunk as you want, spend all your money, go somewhere you haven't gone before..

of course.. you might spend every cent you have until your next paycheck, say on the 5th of Jan, have people over to eat all your food and mess your place up, and drink so much that you're sick for at least a day and a half, and then drearily go to work and just be hungry and miserable and bored because you don't have money for food or food left and everyone is pissed off with you because of something you said when you were drunk and have a miserable shitty few days of it and then the world ends.. just before you get paid again and everyone forgets about the bullshit of New Year's Eve and right after you finally get around to cleaning the place up properly, moving the furniture and scrubbing the floors and everything.

It's a possibility.

I would wonder sometimes..

2011-12-28T21:34:00.002+01:00

why I bother.

Except, it's not entirely clear that I do.

*ponders this*

Christmas at our place...

2011-12-27T17:11:00.001+01:00

All about Cooley. Santa was very good to her this year.. we're thinking that she's just permanently on the "cute" list.

Done for another year...

2011-12-26T13:29:00.003+01:00

Christmas has been and gone.. well.. I mean, the main bit of it, it's still boxing day and er.. 2nd/3rd day of Christmas? I dunno.. but yesterday is gone. We did our presents, got some nice things.. though one of my presents was suspiciously like something a kitty would want..

anyway, made rocks, that is, made bread that turned out like rocks but it didn't matter because we had so much other food that there was more than enough for our guests.. oh, did I mention, we had guests. Just a few, our usual xmas people, and we all ate, listened to cheesy music and watched some silly movies.

I think it was quite a success. And we have leftovers, that's the best bit.

One last desperate attempt to be good..

2011-12-24T17:18:00.003+01:00

Well.. currently Santa's flying over South East Asia, according to my sources.. so I'm gonna assume list is done and checked twice, so at this point, there's not much I can do.. if I'm on the naughty list, I'm staying there.

Fortunately I've been good this year. As usual.

So.. this is Christmas, as the overplayed and otherwise annoying enough song goes.. what have we done? Oh the usual, nothing too interesting. Gonna spend the next few days preparing for guests, eating ,drinking and hanging out with guests, hopefully in a merry fashion.. oh and presents. Yeah, there's already some under the tree.. (actually under where the tree goes, we been putting it in the spare room for most of the time so Cooley doesn't chew on it) but yeah..

Not much else to say. It's Christmas, hope everyone has an awesome one.

Don't drink too much :)

The day I get to grumble.

2011-12-23T22:15:00.002+01:00

I know, it's something I usually never do, but today is a very particular day on which it is appropriate to "air one's grievances".

Festivus, a little known holiday where you get to er.. air your grievances. Semi famous for being featured in a very popular 90s sitcom. Anyway whatever who cares.. here they are. (my grievances that is).

Acting "career". Grievance being, well, my need to put the word "career" in those quotes.. don't have one, still going nowhere, did like one film this year, and no theatre or really anything else, as usuall the infrequent auditions I go for come to nothing, well one recent one but I went for a quite a few over the last month and one of the others I really liked the sound of and thought I'd have a good chance at.. and the stuff I've done is poor and small in number. I keep meaning to do a lot more but for one reason or another, usually quite poor reasons, I don't. *grumbles*

Lack of money. Don't have much money. This is because of my job, which pretty much sucks, well it's an ordinary job that I like as much as any I would do, but there are only so many hours I can do it, and at the moment the season is slow and I'm making next to nothing.

My job. Well, it sucks. I mean, it's not bad but it's like any job, which sucks. One reason being I don't make much but there are other reasons.

My latest upload on youtube doesn't have a thumbnail. I mean a proper one.. you know, a bit from one of the clips of the video. This vexes me.

Other stuff.. lots of it. I could be here all day.

Oh yeah.. the world, people are poor, there's violence, illness equality, other bad things. Work it out world!

The sun has set..

2011-12-22T20:30:00.003+01:00

It is the shortest day o the year today, at least in the Northern Hemisphere, at least according to whichever site I clicked on when I googled winter solstice.. it's either today or yesterday.. whichever, there are really only a few minutes difference in the amount of light we see.

Today, or at least according to a certain script I often quote, and very near to the same aforementioned sites I spoke of, had exactly twice as much dark, as there was light. Not sure exactly what that means, as the sun takes it's time to both rise and set, but that's what they say if you're on the 50th parallel, as I am.

Yeah it's 3 days before Christmas, 2 if you count xmas eve which we do here and of course I had things to do.. stuff I should have done already but I'm doing pretty well if I'm not still desperately pushing through the crowds in the last hours of whatever's open being open on xmas eve, which is pretty much a holiday here so not so much and pretty early.. er, where was I, yeah, so getting stuff done on the 22nd, very responsible by my standards.

*sighs* That time of year.

חנוכה שמח

2011-12-20T11:07:00.003+01:00

Yeah, I can write backwards :). Actually not really, I just google translated that.. it is Hebrew and it does mean (according to google, haven't actually checked with Erik, who does know) Happy Hannukah. Or Happy Channukah.. depending on your preference. It is the first night today and we're beginning our holiday hosting season this evening, with an elegant eve of latkes and stuff, spinning the dreidel with friends. Yes, got a dreidel this year, couldn't find it last year..

It's a strange time of year and a strange year for this strange time, one of our country's most beloved men, Vaclav Havel, dissident playwright during the communist years, major player in the Velvet revolution and President of Czechlosovakia and then the Czech Republic, died just 2 days ago, so it will be a relatively subdued season this year, for the Czech Republic...

nevertheless, life goes on, people still celebrate, lights are up, music is playing.. and all around Prague there are pools on the street, with carp swimming around in them, awaiting their fate...

Too much fun..

2011-12-17T16:45:00.002+01:00

One must pay for. *groans* I've had a pretty good run recently of getting off mildly after a night of drinking, about the last month or so. I wake up, sometimes have a small headache and often not even that and get on with my day.

Well, my blessed time seems to be over.. just in time for the holiday season too. It's rubbish. I'm not sure if there was something particular to last night, didn't really drink so much, although the bit between finishing my last drink and waking up in the middle of the night still half dressed is completely lost to me. Weird.

Anyway.. it's all heating up around here, parties to plan, feasts to get organized, bars to attend.

Not tonight though.

This is something..

2011-12-16T14:19:00.002+01:00

I suppose.

Yeah, did another one of our episodes.. this one about trains. I don't really like it but I put it up and I'm linking it here anyway. These episode thingies are not going exactly how I envisioned.. this envisioning which began long ago and has finally been done a few times after many false starts.. but I've liked most of them, kind of. this one.. er.. I dunno.. I know sometimes you have a bad day and anyone can have times when they don't have much to say that's interesting.. though of course when the subject is trains how could that be ;)... but I've realized, and particularly after doing, and viewing this ep that.. I'm just not that good at this. The idea was to be interesting, funny, silly.. and i take it so fucking seriously? I mean... Erik's cool, he always says something witty but I'm always trying to get us back on the boring track. Don't know why I do it.. I suppose I can train myself out of it, anything can be learnt, or unlearnt. Oh well.

Reality..

2011-12-14T18:00:00.002+01:00

I've been going over all my accents, regional, international.. ones I don't have which is pretty much all of them because I don't have one, not really.. the way I speak is a mix of many things and to speak with any one accent, I would always have to fake it..

anyway.. I'm nowhere near as good at them, any of them as I thought I was, and I didn't think I was all that good.

That's a lie, I thought I was really really good at this. Totally super and as close as you can get without being that accent with my top ones, and pretty damn good at some others, and if there are others I need to know, I can just listen a bit, and practice a bit. Not so, I'm about as good at #2 as I thought about one, maybe, and as good at #3 at all the rest.. except for the ones I didn't know, I can't get my head around those at all.

This kinda sucks.

Monday.

2011-12-12T11:39:00.002+01:00

Is today. Should't be such a letdown, as I don't have a traditional job, and in fact, don't work much at all. Shameful, I know. I am being bothered though. I just want to get some of my stuff done, look up some stuff and.. well let's face it a lot of today will be spent me doing stuff that is mostly in the "wasting time" category, and very little of researching, practicing, editing, cleaning up etc.. and even stuff that's useful for work (that is the paying kind) but still, if I'm not going to get anything out of this time, then I might as well spend it a way that I enjoy, as opposed to not getting any of that stuff done, and not being able to do whatever due to someone being here who will hang around for way longer than is necessary, which is already way longer than I'd like.

So yeah, Monday, blah.

It's always something.

2011-12-08T10:24:00.002+01:00

It's the stupid little things that bother me... computer stuff, can't put a certain program on the comp due to, I dunno, not understand how easy ti really is.. other computer stuff. People coming here and hanging around all day, who I've numerous times tried to explain that I really do need time to do stuff, on my own and every time he takes his sweet ass time hanging around and I seem annoyed he gets pissy and asks why and I either leave it or have to explain the whole thing which I've already gone through, yet again..

there's other stuff. Very small things, nothing worth worrying about, nothing to fill the emptiness which is leaving me with too much time to think and get annoyed by everything. I had one nice bit of news some time last week, and that evening I was kinda elated, and since then everything's been kind of, well not bad, but kind of nothing, with little annoying things... theatre people acting as though I'm.. well not anything really not even noticing me, electricity dying, computer stuff, finally seeing my headshots took a few months ago and looking utterly dreadful in them and realizing that yeah, I must really look like that.. people stuff.. other stuff that's too small to mention.

Hopefully I'll get out of this whatever it is. It's really too pathetic to even talk about, and here I am writing about it. Oh well.

Yeah I'm grumbling about

I give you 3 out of 10.. today..

2011-12-06T19:11:00.002+01:00

I had an average day to put it in the mildest possible way. Started when I woke up, turned on a light, which went out after half a second, taking everything else with it. Including the computer which you can imagine was particularly vexing. So, due misunderstandings, assumptions and just plain stupidi er.. naivety, I was sitting here without any electricity, for some hours.

I had an appointment today as well, and of course I didn't write down the details last night, stupidly thinking I'd be able to check my email in the morning, but I got the relevant info from someone on the phone and figured I should go, despite the fact that our hot water heater is electric.. and I did spend some time trying to find the map book which I haven't been consulting very much recently due to.. you know, usually having electricity and being able to get directions online. It was as if I was receiving all these signs to not go or something..

I went. It was to the wrong location first, this place has 2 and as I didn't get the address from my email but someone else looked it up, I didn't know which one I was supposed to go to, but he directed me to the other one and I went there. Some dude was standing there and made it known in a very casual way that he was the one I was there to see. I went over and after a few vague questions got me to demonstrate how I'd give people directions, with a map, at this point I knew very little about the job, important stuff like hours and pay, even though I'd asked for these details in an email, but I performed for him. Didn't do too good, in fact as soon as I realized he wanted someone who can like, give directions halfway well I knew this wasn't going to work out, but I did it. This went on for a few minutes before he stopped me abruptly and said, that's all. Didn't even get a chance to find out that actually.. this shitty job doesn't pay well enough, and is beneath me, so I will not be performing your monkey tricks for you..

Wasn't too impressed with that. Came home, and everything was still off.. we thought it had maybe been turned off because the latest bill had been paid kinda late.. so I just sat there, soon after the sun went down, so I just laid down for a bit, it was fucking cold. Finally, I found out it wasn't the company, so I went upstairs and this dude up there went to the outside fuse box and flipped a switch and it all came back on. It was a bittersweet moment, yes, it was back, but it could have been back oh so many hours ago..

That's pretty much it.

Who turned out the lights?

2011-12-05T17:00:00.002+01:00

The days really get short so quickly, I've noticed. I mean, it's obvious why when the end of daylight savings comes, you get an instant hour's difference, that's understandable.. but from then on it just gets shorter and shorter by the second. I'm not sure that makes much sense, but I've noticed in the mornings.. you get the extra hour then, but within a few weeks it still dark by 7am or so.. and on a day that's dark by 4pm.

I think it might be getting to me, I know there's an actual syndrome, SAD or SAP or something, standing for.. seasonal, something that starts with an A and then something else, and it's not hard to understand why. It's bloody dark all the time! You get up a bit later in the morning on the weekend, hang about a bit, get showered and all, and it's already sunset if not completely dark by the time you set foot outside. It's crap! Who the hell organized it this way? I think we should do it differently, like, have about an extra hour per day overall, but you can take a few hours off June days, we really don't need to have daylight until 10 or so, and and give it to December and November.. that's how I think they should do it.. who do you have to write to to have something done about it?

If I thought I had any laurels..

2011-12-04T16:46:00.005+01:00

I'd probably rest on them.

Fortunately, the period I felt like I was finally going somewhere, or at least finally beginning to edge forward in the right direction was short lived. I got a role, yes, this was and is still a positive thing, but for one thing by that point the need to create my own stuff was strong, so I'm still (fully intending) on doing it. Haven't actually done more since finding out, but it's still no 1 priority for me.

I did have another audition yesterday, which I already spoke of. In the evening I went back to the spot, finding it easier this time, to see a play. It was alright and the night was fun, spoke to some people I don't usually see. Some people, not all people cared to speak to me at all.. I mean, I know they all know so many people and have so much time but.. it was clear that I'm nowhere near being one of the cool crowd yet, if there's a chance I'll ever be. Pathetic really.. 30 fucking 8 years old and I'm still trying to edge in on the popular kids group. At least a little acknowledgement for a second.. "looking forward to working with you".. just choosing the cast list now... hint hint, er.. yeah, like I said your audition was really good..

ok so I know I'm in at least one thing.. that's good.

Went along for another thing today. Just joined in a video shoot for a promo for a new organization. A bit of a saga there too.. had trouble getting info from them, the guy who I emailed wrote back 3 times asking more questions and then went home for the weekend before giving me the time and place.. fortunately I got the info last night, so I went along.

Turns out this dude was at the theatre last night.. I think I was sitting right next to him.. whatev.. anyway shooting the vid was fun, we got free food and did a bit more socializing, and it's something else my face will be in, so good.

Nothing else on the horizon for the mo... gotta get out there and do my own stuff! I totally will this time.

Number 17.. you're going down!

2011-12-03T17:44:00.003+01:00

So, a lovely sunny Saturday. It's nice to get those, particularly this time of year when one does not expect nice kinds of weather. Pleasant it was, though, not having a lounging about day, I had things to do!

I had to do the old fiddly change transit thing that one must do at times, so I go to Narodni Trida, and wait for the 17. It's a weekend so the trams are coming slightly less frequently than weekdays, but still not so bad. one showed up after not long. Well, I didn't notice it at first, because some woman came up and asked me how to get to Prague Castle, even though I was checking through my little notebook at the time in the vain hope I'd written some information that was important there.. so another lady took over from me, explaining in detail how to get there. In the whole kerfuffle I didn't notice the 17 waiting there at first, it was backed up, like a tram is when there's another tram waiting ahead of it, but there was no other tram in front. I went up to get on it, and it moved forward.. oh, thinks I, it's moving up to the front, where it's supposed to be. But no, it didn't.. just kept going.

So I had to wait for the next one. And no, the important info was not in my little notebook.

I get to my destination, and I walk and walk, I hadn't been to this place before but I had a pretty good idea of how to get there, until an unfamiliar road, one that I was sure I hadn't seen on the map, came up ahead of me. Then, lo and behold, I see someone I know coming across the road. Hadn't seen him for a while, so we did a stop and chat, and I asked where this place was.. I remembered the street, sorta. He scratched his head, sure that he was familiar with it.. and then realized, it was written on the street sign right above his head. Oh how we laughed and laughed.

So.. said ciao and went on, down that street, the street I was supposed to be on. But my destination was not along it! Walked back up that street, and found it ended where I had begun. I consulted my crudely drawn map and realized that all the streets were wrong, or the google map was wrong because they didn't match up. That my own map was an inaccurate representation of the official map, is not a possibility of course.

I walked up and down a bit. Then made a phone call, found out, I had the address wrong. No idea how that happened, but I walked on to this other street. Fortunately it had a name which kinda gave away where it was so it wasn't so hard to find, though the place I needed to go was a bit difficult to spot, part of a big complex of warehouses and stuff.. so I walked past the entrance a few times until I found it, then I wandered around in there for a few more minutes.. and then I thought the door was locked and waited outside like a chump.

Pretty typical of me trying to get somewhere. On the way home, I waited at the tram stop for the 17 again, checked the time it came, but it didn't come. Had to wait for the next one, and then it didn't go back the samw way but took me of course. Damn 17!

Oh it was for an audition, I was going, btw. It went kay I spose.. apparently I've improved, which totally isn't condescending or anything coming from someone who should be a peer (fair enough he has way more theatre experience and has done grown up stuff like actually help form and run a theatre company) but it's positive. Probably wasn't good enough to get in but I'll live with that.. I already have one thing going so I'll coast on the dizziness of that for a while, yeah that other one I went on.. sorta got something from it. Oh and I got that important info that I mentioned earlier in time.

It's got to be easier..

2011-12-01T20:30:00.002+01:00

Life really should be simpler than this. That's what, (or something similar to that, "life should be much easier", "I thought you said it would make life easier", "things really should be easier", I remembered the exact words earlier, but I failed to note them right away) a I heard as I was walking a busy Prague street on the way to work earlier on.. they were said to a woman, carrying a large box, which looked like it had been filled with some kind of fruit or vegetable, but was now almost empty, with difficulty through the too narrow streets, full of people already experiencing christmastime.. by a distinguished sounding Englishman wearing a sorta Dr Who type coat.

Well it seemed intriguing at the time. I also saw some ghostbusters tonight... that is, I passed a car with the ghostbusters symbol on it. I didn't know they had those anymore :)

So work was, well, waiting around for no one to show up for a tour, but that meant I got to listen to the festive music in the Old Town Square, a colorful group of singers playing funky but whimsical songs about Jesus. Well.. you know.

Oh, and that reminds me, I came up with a cool new name for christmas, it is.. um.. shit, I think I forgot exactly how it goes already, one of those lying in bed half asleep inventions.

I remember. Magic Baby Saves the World holiday. It might sound silly, or even offensive to some.. but really, not that different from what those silver voiced youth were singing in our city tonight. Sorta.

It's like an incredible feeling of deja vu all over again..

2011-11-29T17:46:00.003+01:00

Sigh.

It's time again. Time for me to muse about, ponder, and lament this particular version of the passing o the time. I could say the same old jazz that I always bang on about, the same time of year every year, how it's just so..

I mean, I'm not so put out by the fact that I'm as old as I am, in the way that I'm no longer young, spry, fresh, blooming, cute.. all those things that a lady bemoans the loss of.. and when I say I'm not put out I mean it's all too easy to believe, I don't get that slight shock when I stop and think, this is true. I'm not saying I like it, I'm not even saying I don't actively dislike it.. I'm not even saying it doesn't distress me quite a lot, and often to feel my weary bones and see my haggard face.. and see the (recently increased yet again) number after the "age" section.. because yes, I fucking hate that shit. I'm just not at all in denial there.

What really astounds me is.. well, the way I am. This unestablished, disorganized, inexperienced, foolish, irresponsible and downright immature person. I don't have anything and I've done nothing. Well I've done stuff, but it's all over the place, and doesn't really count. Hard to explain. And I know a lot of people of mature ages are youthful and fun, but there's really something missing here, almost everyone I know, though they seem like a bit of a mess (that's quite a few people) have something about them, that one little grown up thing about them, that lets you believe they're in their 30s, or 40s. When I look at myself it's just.. I can't believe it. I couldn't believe it when I was 30.. and then at about 35 which seemed like such a fucking grown up age that it was just impossible I could be it, then 36.. 37.. and on :/

Like I said, or at least vaguely alluded, I say this every year so there's probably not much left to be said. So I'll see you next year. Or sooner if I have something to say :).

That place between something..

2011-11-28T18:02:00.003+01:00

and something else.

It's a weird day. Monday, I think. Still 37 *snorts*.. and nothing particularly special going on. Actually I wouldn't be if I was presently in the time zone that I was born, but, doesn't really matter.

Strange times, still November, but almost December. So much going on and I have no idea whether I can say yay or nay or maybe, I just don't know. I asked for a few particular days off, but of course having to do that almost a week before the end of the month before the really busy with festive stuff month means you're going to miss out on securing a lot of important days. And I still don't know what those days will be, not even sure if the ones I asked for will be free, which do include the 25th, which for some strange reason I think was a popular request. Don't ask me why we're still open on that day. Don't know.

Anyway, rather dull at the mo, not much to write home about, except Cooley saw a pigeon and I spent the afternoon carrying some not heavy but particularly awkward items from another place to this one.

Think I'm done now.

Doing things really makes you want to do things.

2011-11-27T16:44:00.002+01:00

Well, in my case anyway. Ok only sometimes. Well rarely, but it does happen.

Just finished editing one video, see post below, and now I just want to get my hands on more footage! I'm on an editing spree. I worked with some other earlier inferior footage (yes that's footage inferior to the footage used in the video I spoke of, it is possible) earlier on and it was surprisingly easy, compared to when I first got my hands on the aforementioned footage, which took me ages, though on and off, mostly off to edit.

I need more! It's a bit more difficult to actually get the footage, I've noticed, despite the enthusiasm when I speak to others that are involved in these projects, usually when we're drinking and such, that enthusiasm doesn't seem so great when it would be otherwise a good time to film. And it also means (sometimes) going outside, setting things up, doing things over again and other complicated things that just seem like work.

Oh well.. there will be more! At some point :/

Um... what?

2011-11-26T17:09:00.001+01:00

I finally finished something.

:)

Happy post holiday...

2011-11-25T16:04:00.003+01:00

It's a thing known as Black Friday in some parts of the world, meaning the first shopping day after Thanksgiving, in the all important leadup to Christmas, so parts of the world that celebrate thanksgiving er.. celebrate it.

This is not a part of the world that celebrates Thanksgiving, neither is the part of the world I come from, or where anyone I live with comes from (actually they do celebrate it but at a different time), but nevertheless, we went out in the eve to celebrate. Mostly to watch football, well he did, and I just hung out, ate some turkey, and had beers. So I celebrated it, in a way, therefore, it should be a kind of black Friday today for me too.

We got there early, so we could see both games, which are quite long. So that means a lot of beer. Yeah.. it's not the lightest most pleasant Friday.

*groans*

Omg.. omg..

2011-11-24T17:34:00.003+01:00

I did it.

I finished editing.. something.

It's no big deal I've just spent so long on it that it's kind of a big deal. Ok, when I say I've spent a lot of time on it, I mean, a lot of time on and off, and when I say on and off, I spent more time off due to some weird fear of this complicated technology (blushes at the thought) and various technical reasons that kept coming up, some due to inferior materials butmostly due to my inability to figure these things out, and partly due to a number of excuses I made not to do it, based on either of the 2 previous reasons, because of a) laziness, b) the aforementioned irrational fear of something that is actually quite simple.

Anyway, I have a thing, done. Not up yet but it will be.

Ok Google.. what all this about?

2011-11-22T17:19:00.005+01:00

I don't know if it's just me, but my google search pages have recently been coming up all.. messy. The first couple, indeed the ones that you usually notice most, the equivalent of eye height in the supermarket, the entries that you see.. in short, are all some kind of sponsored links, based on my area..

I don't like it. It looks messy and well.. I'd like THE MOST RELEVANT AND USEFUL LINKS TO BE THE ONES THAT COME UP FIRST THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

I mean, yeah, it's a free service and they gotta make money but.. this sucks. I do not approve and would like for this travesty to be rectified asap, imho.

Get on it Google!

I don't really have anything to say.

2011-11-21T23:24:00.002+01:00

I suppose I should just leave it then.

I hate going by more than a few days (whatever that means exactly) without writing. This is why I'm writing about not really having anything to write.

Sad isn't it?

And then came the snow.

2011-11-16T08:33:00.002+01:00

It snowed. Well I think it did, judging from the light dusting of white stuff on the roofs. I think we're entering the season here I blog about nothing but the season.. I know it seems like I always do but at other times of the year when we get weather (or falling leaves) I occasionally mix it up with other stuff.

It's all weather from here on though.. except for the other season stuff, that of the silly variety which can in a way be put under the season umbrella, so there you go.

Weather blog, signing off.

I'm still waiting for the fog to lift..

2011-11-15T23:33:00.002+01:00

For the past few weeks now, I have, upon being woken up between 4:30 to 6:00 by the kitty, going for my first morning er.. relieving.. and seeing the region of Vrsovice out the toilet window, covered in a mist, or fog. Depending on how early in the morning it is. And I think.. gee it's been foggy recently, but.. generally it lets up a bit and by the time I get out of bed properly at 8a.. er 10.. ok about 11 or 12, it's mostly gone.

The last few days there's been a bit of fog about, but also it's been quite sunny.. very nice for the weekend and for a visitor we've had here for a few days. Cold though.

This morning, I again, upon my first awakening, saw out of the window, a sea of mist. It was particularly thick, I thought. This was also the day I was going with our visitor to Vysehrad, up on the hill.. the site of the original castle of Prague.. and a whole bunch of other stuff. She had a bunch of stuff to do, shopping, post office, that sort of thing so I said I'd meet her later, in the afternoon.. it's better to give the fog some time to lift, as it usually does, and by that time, we'd have a bit of sun and some warmth.

Well.. everything went according to plan, got her stuff done and we met at our arranged time. Except for the fog bit.. still the same as early in the morning. We go up there, walk around and are freezing! Go through the artist's graveyard, see the psychadelic basilica, walk through the park.. and are pretty much ready to go somewhere warm and pleasant with food and beer.. but first we had to go to the lookout where you see a beautiful view of the city and the river and the castle.

We went to the lookout and well there are some very nice buildings diretlty in front of it. We saw the castle.. I mean I knew it was, think it was the castle.. I suppose it could have been another towery churchy thing, possibly was.. I don't really know.

That was about 3:00.. fog still hasn't lifted.

Let's wait and see.

2011-11-14T17:51:00.002+01:00

So, had an audition on the weekend. Probably could have been more prepared, definitely could have done better. I'll be rather surprised if I hear back from the peole at all but who knows.. there's a lot of bodies in this play and I might be invited to be part of a chorus or something... but I won't know until, who knows.

There's some other stuff going on, which I may or may not get in some way involved in.

That's all really.

That's a whole lotta ones...

2011-11-11T11:11:00.002+01:00

Today is 11-11-11. For all of us, there's not too much way to rearrange that group of numbers. I wonder what it means.. *ponders*. It is a day of remembrance of course, for many *bows head and remembers* and in some places, including here in Prague a special day for weddings...

other than that, I just like the lineup of the numbers.

And yes, I'm being completely silent while writing this. Just wish the guy upstairs would stop hammering... at least for a minute dude! *shakes head*

There used to be a horse round here.. wasn't there?

2011-11-08T22:56:00.003+01:00

So.. was almost doing ok for a bit, and then I went and fucked up again...

well, it's a small-ish thing. I had something rather important, well, an opportunity that is few and far between for me, and I was too unwell to go.

My fault. Yesterday I made the mistake of going and meeting a friend for "a beer" and well.. it turned into 2 beers, which is what I blurred to Erik later that night, not that I remember telling him, and it even seems strange to me that I would claim that, drunk as I must have been.

So I had one of my awful hangovers today and was unable to go.

Oh and I've given up on something else, a small thing but for the past 3 months I've been trying to make at least one video every day. Nothing special, most of the time it's something extremely dull just to get one done for the day, but I didn't manage it for September, or October, and now I missed a day in November and well.. it was a pathetic attempt to say I've achieved something anyway, mostly a way to get used to filming more stuff but it didn't really work, so now I'll just concentrate on filming quality stuff when I have the time and inclination. Maybe that will work better.

Now I have to get work on some audition monologues.. I want to not fuck up at least one of these things coming up.

Oh, look at those colours!

2011-11-07T11:09:00.002+01:00

I really like this time of year, strangely. I mean I never look forward to it so much during that time that summer is coming to an end, and I envisage and end to the warm, exciting fun filled days that actually haven't come around yet.. but, once it's fairly into September, with wacky wine festivals happening, and lots of birthdays and events and yes.. a very silly season (ok, I like it, sue me!) coming in the next months.. it starts to fee more.. festive.

I mean it's getting colder, and the days are shorter, both things I could do without.. however, there is this wonderful thing that the trees do in autumn and.. well, I must say I'm quite a fan. And I don't live near a splendid forest, and the leaves here change to predominantly yellow hues, rather than red (not that there's anything wrong with yellow, but it is truly splendid to see a forest of bright red leaved trees, mixed in with orange and yellow) but, Prague's a pretty city, and the changing o the leaves only improves it.

So where am I going with this? Well.. I'd barely noticed it this year. We've had a stretch of gloomy weather.. not terrible weather, not so cold, and not much rain but day after day of grey sky. Usually there's some sun this time of year and well.. at least every couple of days but the grey just went on and on. It was particularly vexing because the forecast at the beginning of last week said all week would be sunny, and it, like, wasn't.

But finally yesterday was a gorgeous sunny day, with a bright blue sky and little fluffly clouds and oh.. you could see it, beautiful yellow and orange trees, leaves falling as you walk, and piles and piles littering the sidewalk, just ready to be kicked about as if a silly kid was walking along there instead of me. Yes, I did kick the leaves about.

That's about it.

Not due for 24 more days but..

2011-11-05T19:56:00.002+01:00

sometimes, when I'm just sitting here, or on the tram, or doing the dishes or something that doesn't require much thought.. I start pondering my own life, myself, my personality, my habits.. all that stuff, and I get to thinking.. fuck, I'm so fucking immature. I can't believe I'm a fucking grown up. I mean, I know a lot of people are youthful, immature, stuff like that, and it's typical to not be as "mature" as people of the same age as their parent's generation but..

It's as if I usually think of myself as if from afar, and I see the outline, what my values are, as a person who cares about stuff, and has ambition (sorta, even the far away me can't claim that one too much) and then I think of my day to day life, the things I worry about going on about typical stuff and...

it's not really me. I'm terribly juvenile really. I mean even the outline of me is, well.. not very responsible, don't have much job experience or a career to speak of, haven't achieved a whole lot really.. and, at this point it's unlikely there ever will be much of that.. and well, what do I do with my time while not achieving much? I would like to say I work on furthering my own ambitions, or making the world a better place in some way.. something I do care about quite deeply (sort of) as far as it involves not doing so much.. but no, not doing any of that. What I spend most of my time on is.. wasting time, to put it vaguely. Yeah, it pretty much all falls under that umbrella.

Just saying.

It's planning to get real silly round here very..

2011-11-02T20:39:00.003+01:00

soon.

I know. Uncharacteristic of any place I should be, being an eminently sensible person. Whatever eminently means. Not really sure, actually.. I flat out don't know, but it sounds right.

Ok so I'm online, and I just consulted the dictionary.. and the definition (that is for "eminent" is:

1.high in station, rank, or repute; prominent; distinguished: eminent statesmen.
2.conspicuous, signal, or noteworthy: eminent fairness.
3.lofty; high: eminent peaks.
4.prominent; projecting; protruding: an eminent nose.

er.. still not sure.

Whatever. Anyway, like I said it's highly unusual for me, or my environment to be silly.. but, it is the end o the year. You know what's coming.

Yes.. the "holidays" as the kids call them nowadays. It's now the 2nd day of the month of November so I calculate in 3, 2, 1 days...

er.. it probably started about 4 days ago, some time in late October. It's just going to get sillier from here on.

*puts on googly eye glasses*

So let's try it again.

2011-11-01T22:31:00.001+01:00

This month, I'm going to get things done.

So far I've not done much, though it's been almost a full day.. but sometimes I get off on a slow start with these things.

A very slow start :/

It's that time of year..

2011-10-31T18:50:00.001+01:00

Oh yeah, the blog.

2011-10-27T09:46:00.002+02:00

Haven't been writing much, because.. well, because.

Haven't been doing much. That's easy to explain, I'm lazy. Sure, work, some of the time, and yeah.. other stuff like.. er. Well I went to a meeting, met up with some people in the film and theatre community here. Have some auditions coming up. Well probably one, the other coincides with a night I have to work. Guess I'm too busy, huh..

And that's about it.

All on my lonesome..

2011-10-21T19:17:00.004+02:00

Apart from the kitty of course. Ok,so I'm not all alone. Wen you've got someone constantly bothering you for food, you can't feel too alone.

So.. a certain member of the household, obvs not me, or the kitty, has gone to London for the weekend.. yeah, I know, right after a weekend in Paris, some people get all the breaks, anyway, the result is I'm here alone.

It;s been uneventful, so far. I mean, I made some soup, I've cleaned a bit, wasted time the various ways I usually do, oh and I spilled water on the keyboard which made it work kinda funny, with all sorta of extra characters on some keys.. not this one, I swapped it over for the other keyboard, which I don't really like, the shift key doesn't seem to work very well.. anyway, hopefully that one will work properly when it dries out.. much check on that..

what was I saying.. oh yeah..

I've done this before, for much longer periods so I can handle it. and I'm pretty busy anyway. Ok so I'm not, the night of the theatre and night of work have been changed to 2 night in a row of me being here alone, with the internet, and my videos and books and the kitty.. due to me still nursing a cold and it being damn cold out there.

Is it sad that this is my idea of bliss?

2011-10-21T19:17:00.001+02:00

The Gloom.

2011-10-19T16:37:00.003+02:00

I should be grumpy, really, the weather is, well.. constant rain, I have a sore throat which probably means the next few days I'll be going through the whole set of cold related symptoms, there's not so much food in the house despite me doing a big shop last night, which I was able to do because I stupidly went early for my tour.. got the schedule wrong, and had 2 hours to hang about, probably contributing to the way I feel today, though it was actually relatively warm, and not raining at all.. and I didn't end up having a tour anyway.. *breathes*

well anyway.. it's not so bad. I just like the excuse to be totally lazy. Got a few nights off due to a few schedule changes.. which I need at the mo, going out in the freezing cold and probably wet night will not help me recover quicker, not really worth the showing up and not getting a tour fee, which I would undoubtedly be earning...

so yeah.. very lazy day, I can watch it rain outside in the knowledge that I don't need to go out there...

except to run out for a few foodstuffs.. might need to do that in a bit..

Told you I was there..

2011-10-17T22:43:00.001+02:00

I'm in Prague now..

2011-10-16T22:30:00.002+02:00

but earlier on I was in Paris. Over the weekend I went..

It was good. I might write some more details at some point. Probably not tonight though. I might take this opportunity to tell you that the weather was lovely though, as that seems to be an important detail.

Going tomorrow..

2011-10-12T15:01:00.002+02:00

To the fabulous city of Paris..

still need to organize a bit.. but it's tomorrow so..

hope the cam works ok.

It's over..

2011-10-11T16:37:00.003+02:00

maybe.

My camera's acting up. It started a few days ago when I started turning off randomly.. I mean, when it shouldn't.. when I had the feeling the batteries were charged well enough thank you very much. Well.. I charged them again and this happened a few times.. so I figured there's something wrong with the batteries or the cam.

I tried both of them, and it seemed as though it was doing it with each set.. and this is a problem for obvious reasons, of course, but especially since I'm off to Paris this weekend and I NEED A FUCKING CAMERA THAT WORKS FOR FUCKS SAKE.. well.. not I put in the other set and they seem to be working, so far. Of course, if they're only sorta working, that is, let me take a few photos, even what might be classed as a lot, but not as much as they should.. it's a problem seeing as I don't have any spares now.. and I'M GOING AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND AND NEED TO TAKE LOTS AND LOTS OF PICS.. so you see.

Might need another cam, but what.. and for what money? And do I need one need one or do I not need one. I have 2 days to figure it out.

Told you life was hard.

I'm going to Paris soon.

2011-10-09T15:15:00.003+02:00

For the weekend. Next weekend. Just been planning stuff, something I don't usually do, I mostly just show up at a place and wander around.. hope there's some accommodation available :) ok, I (or more likely whoever I'm with) usually take care of that.. but otherwise.

Well.. the other person this time has made sure that we planned it well, so we'll see lots of stuff, but hopefully there'll be plenty of time for just wandering and stuff.

Speaking of elements.

2011-10-08T12:25:00.002+02:00

It's raining. Yeah.. nothing interesting has happened since the last thing so I'm talking about the weather. It changed.. well not really so much the other day when I lamented the unseasonal weather being over, it got back to being quite nice, and tolerably warm. And then yesterday. I knew it was colder, so on my way out I wore more layers, warmer clothing than I had done for some time. I was still too cold.

Now it's raining, and freezing. Relatively. Winter is coming.

Elements and elephants.

2011-10-06T17:30:00.002+02:00

There are way too few occasions that the title sentence is appropriate for, but I just realized, that there is one, was one. I wish I'd thought about it 3 weeks ago just after said occasion but I didn't.

So now I'm using it. Sad, I know. Anyway, it relates to the day o Vinobrani which I wrote about just after.. and as you may remember, there was an elephant. Now, I rarely get to be anywhere near an elephant on it's own, but you may not be aware, that at this wine harvest celebration there were also elements. Ok, so I hear you saying, "there are always elements! it's always raining, or windy, or sunny or something!" Yes, I know, and I don't mean that, I mean that the 4 elements were present, that is Earth, Wind, Fire and Water. Or ladies dressed up as them.

So yeah.. elements and elephants.

I think it's over..

2011-10-05T22:37:00.002+02:00

this spell of beautiful, unseasonal weather we've been having, at least today it was a little colder, and a lot greyer than of yore.. yore being the last week or so.. probably 10 days, at least all of October up til now. Oh well.. we had a good run.

That's all.

Something from the weekend..

2011-10-04T17:34:00.003+02:00

it's a video of a bunny dancing. Yes, it is. From that thing I did on Saturday.

Sooner or later I'll do something else interesting.. and thus have another subject.

I have to say..

2011-10-02T22:43:00.001+02:00

it's been very warm for October. Rather pleasant really.. actually, a little too hot sometimes, when one isn't prepared.. but overall quite nice.

Follow the bunny!

2011-10-01T22:45:00.002+02:00

Happy October all... it's been quite a nice start to the month here.. a lovely warm day, almost hot actually, especially for following a conga line down a major city square in the afternoon, though not so bad if you aren't wearing a furry bunny suit, which one person actually was. Oh.. I did that, btw, earlier today, following a bunny. Well it was a guy, in a bunny suit.

Yeah, that's the kind of thing I've been getting up to lately. That and some drinking. Well.. some work as well.. though not as much as the summer months. I can live with that.. drinking and following bunnies staging ridiculous stunts suits me better really. Doesn't pay so well but.. sometimes you have to do stuff for the love of it.

Ok, so there's still nothing going on..

2011-09-26T14:41:00.001+02:00

I mean, haven't achieved much. Not much to write about and for once I'm using it as an excuse to not write, as opposed to scribble down drivel.. that is excepting the current moment.

It's been nice, actually. That's all.

Alright where's that horse?

2011-09-21T11:49:00.003+02:00

I have been falling a bit behind of late, re.. getting stuff out there, editing things, doing more things.. for no real reason other than I am me. There was a brief period back there where I did a bunch of stuff I was quite proud of, and a fair bit of it too... and then I went and rested on the tiny unit of laurels I managed to achieve.. and that's it. Even most of the stuff I did has come to nothing (so far) because I haven't gone through with the act of making it palatable for the wider world.. therefore it isn't out there.

Well.. gotta get back to doing it, is all. No more excuses! Not that I really made any excuses, I just didn't do it. Well now I will.. soon.

smirks at title of previous post

2011-09-20T16:18:00.003+02:00

Well shit. Yesterday was Cooley's birthday, and International Talk Like a Pirate day and what did I do? Well.. nothing. I felt fucking sick.. and you know the really fucked up thing about it? I hadn't even been drinking.. well, I had a few beers on Sunday night but, it wasn't that.

I think it was something I ate, and I know exactly what, later on, after having been called in for a tour, I felt a little bit strange in the tummy, but nothing too drastic.. well, no tour, as it was raining and it is our least popular tour, so I met Erik at this sports bar, hung out, had 2 beers.. and went home.. well we gorged on some chips and guacamole.. but I don't think it was that.

Well. yesterday I was ok when I woke up, well, mostly ok, feeling a little odd but nothing big, and I was all ready to go get Cooley some birthday goodies, and do a whole bunch of pirate stuff.. *take a few dorky photos, is about all, nothing to exciting* but some time in the afternoon, I started feeling crummy, really really crummy, and I spent the rest of the day just lying around. Fortunately I didn't have a tour.

Well anyway, that sucked.

feels just fine and stuff

2011-09-18T12:45:00.003+02:00

So. Am alive today and feeling quite fine. Yesterday the rain held out.. though it was promised, and it was quite a lovely, predominantly sunny, warm, mid almost late September day. And some of our friends showed up to meet us though others we didn't managed to co-ordinate our times with. Sorta missed the gladiator stuff, or rather didn't get to get into the stadium to see it in all it's glory due to the popularity of the contest.. can you imagine... in this day and age!

However.. did have a few wacky incidences.. the hilarity of explaining to a friend where we were sitting, for almost an hour and 5 phone calls.. the trauma of seeing some parents freak out as their kid.. well.. I dunno, had some problem, and they called for the ambulance and a doctor and oh my, how stressful. He turned out to be ok..

Oh and we saw an elephant. This would have been the highlight, if a bulldog, who seemingly at first seemed like a very placid, nay, lazy dog, got a bit crazy at some guy in a toga who came around promoting, or whatever he was doing and they had a bit of a tussle..

weird day. Stayed late-ish.. had a fair of o burcak but not too much, and.. that's it.

Ok.. I'm a beer person but..

2011-09-16T22:38:00.003+02:00

The wine harvest, is about my favourite time of year. It's not just because that's when all the burcak.. that is fresh wine.. er.. some drink made from the dregs of the grapes.. or something, is about.. actually I can't stand the disgusting shit. It's not just because it's autumn and I generally like autumn although it's still early and we're in that kind of still summer if the weather co-operates, and glum, dull weather without anything interesting about it, if it doesn't. No. It's because of the dress up.

In one of our local parks.. the one with the vineyard in the middle.. one that is now even closer to us than it ever was before.. they have a theme every year.. medieval.. early 20th centuraly.. Bacchanalia! That's this year.. so tomorrow, we're going to wander down to our local park at the end of the street, and hang out with gladiators and do ancient roman stuff.. and whatnot. And drink horribly sweet fresh wine that's really sweet and terribly potent in plastic cups. It's gonna be awesome.

Alright, here we go.

2011-09-15T17:24:00.000+02:00

Caption..

Ok, that does it.

2011-09-14T15:22:00.003+02:00

Today I did something, I mean, not such a big deal but it's one of those things that I hope will spell a change in how things are done around here.. I mean, with me, for me, my life. I've said that about a lot of things recently, well... in general, and in fact about the very same thing I did today, or at least thought it, but..

I mean, I've been moving backwards the past few days, about the last week really. After one weekend of getting shit done.. I lapsed back into.. well not much, nothing in fact, and not doing a whole lot with what I did, ie, the usual, but today at least I did something sorta official, and I'm hoping.. for once, finally, this time, against all fucking odds, that this will make a difference.

And I'm putting this here so in a month, or 2 months.. or more, I will be able to look back at this and see, just how much it changed things.

Or not, which will be a pretty typical experience of looking back over the numerous blog posts where I hoped for things to happen.. over about 5 years now.. I think it's more :/.. oh whatever. What's the difference.

The big recovery..

2011-09-12T15:33:00.003+02:00

So, had one of my "fucking sick without being able to do a damn thing all day" days.. yesterday, following, of course a night of going out and having to much fun..

Yes, again. It happens over and over but somehow, at that point in the night when I should just stop drinking, where if I just quit then and there I'd be maybe not shining and healthy in the morning, I would at least have at most a minor headache, and not feel like getting up too early, but.. I kept going. Seemed like a good idea at the time or at least the very thought of a horrible next day didn't occur to me. Had other stuff on my mind, like.. well, there was stuff.

And I was scheduled to work yesterday, 2 tours. Not until the evening, but when I have these days, they go all day.. however, I'm usually good to do something by night time, and I thought I was, I left to go there, feeling a bit woozy on the tram but thought it might be ok, then I walked to the office and knew that there was no way I could work. At best I'd be very low key, probably not loud enough, and not able to act as though I was in a good mood, and at worst I would have made a very embarrassing and unprofessional spectacle of myself. Not a good thing, so, it being one of the less popular tours, and no one having booked it yet, I was able to go home.. and someone covered the other one. Things were better after that, just due to not having to worry about such things.. but it took a long time before I felt able to so much as drink water without feeling sick.. but I did, I was so thirsty.. and food, well, it's the first time in ages I've gone a whole 24 hour period without eating a single thing.. I was pretty hungry this morning.

I'm sure you really wanted to know all that.

The wonderful world out there..

2011-09-09T13:26:00.002+02:00

Ah.. not much to say today.. nothing new, so I'll pass on some unusual and entertaining news from the world of nature..

Drunk Swedish elk found in apple tree near Gothenburg

Apparently this is quite common in Autumn when there are a lot of apples around. Well.. not the tree bit, just drunken elk, wandering about, stumbling into things, falling over and being beligerent, that sort of thing..

the world is funny, sometimes :)

Kay.. w.t.h...

2011-09-08T15:23:00.001+02:00

Here's something I finished recently...

still got a long way to go.. :/

Learnin...

2011-09-07T17:32:00.005+02:00

I hope I'm learning something because this editing stuff is incredibly tedious and time consuming.. and the result, well.. I'm semi pleased with some of it, but it's really simple.. and crude, and not very accurate...

I'm just hoping that about 4 videos from now I'll be able to look back at this one and see such a marked improvement that.. well. I'll be pleased. I think I'll need a better editor though, and better material to work with.. I mean, the stuff I've filmed so far.. I'm sure a seasoned editor would be able to improve it, but make it into something.. if they used only effects, possibly..

probably need a better computer, and a whole lot more expertise, a few months of film school, at least.. and some talent..

or I can just keep trying and time will improve it.. just a tiny bit. One hopes.

The things you find yourself doing..

2011-09-06T15:31:00.002+02:00

when you finally decide to take your life in your own hands and grab it by the horns so to speak.. the bull, or whatever..

yeah, I'm halfassedly sorta doing something like that. Actually did something just now that I've been putting off for ages, for no real reason.. not a big thing, the sort of thing anyone else would have done the minute they realized they had to, and many times over but..

anyway now I'm downloading polka music..

there is a reason for it

So now you decide to work!

2011-09-05T20:15:00.004+02:00

The internet has been working crappily all day, sometimes not at all.. this has been vexing, vexing I tell you! I had all this stuff I intended to do and needless to say, I needed, well not the internet for most of it but the time that trying constantly to connect to the internet and make it work better cost me so...

oh whatever here's a pic, haven't posted one in a while.

Kay, so some stuff.

2011-09-04T13:20:00.002+02:00

One of the stuff, er things I planned on doing today, the "meeting and actually relating with other people" bit, well, will not be happening today, but that's so I can focus more on one of the other very important things o the day.. ok, partly because I'm afraid of people, and this, as has been mentioned, involves people. I mean I already have 2 tours tonight so my being around lots of people quota is used up, I'm afraid. There'll be more of these things in the future however, or at least they say so, which means they'll probably get around to doing another one in about a year, which will fizzle out and not happen again after that, but what can you do.

Still doing the other thing though. I mean, I intend to.

Still at it.

2011-09-04T11:56:00.003+02:00

Yesterday, I did stuff. I said I would do stuff and stuff I did. What I did yesterday will all become evident later as I fix stuff and tweak stuff and.. well, you'll see. Maybe.

Today I have more stuff to do.. o so much stuff, stuff upon stuff upon stuff. Meeting and actually relating with other people is involved, and that's not just the "job" bit, which I have a more heavy shift of tonight btw.. it's, well something to do with stuff that's actually important. You.. (yes I do mean you, singular) know what I mean by this, I reckon.

And.. well.. hopefully I'll get something else done too, this will be avaiable to (yes, you) the public at some time soon-ish in the future.

Yep.. that's wot I've been doing and will be doin.. I'm sure I'll post more about this later...

Just because it's the weekend..

2011-09-03T12:54:00.004+02:00

Doesn't mean you don't have to work! I mean, I'm all set to.. and I don't mean that silly stuff I do to round up a couple of crowns for myself.. although I'll be doing that too, both nights, but real work.. real important stuff, uploadable stuff, not just the ton of crappy photos I'm constantly putting out there, but a bunch of crappy videos as well!

I didn't mean it like that.. I mean awesome, incredible fantastic videos. Alright then ok videos, well I don't know, but I intend to film stuff.. tons of stuff. You read it here! So, I here, in this moment, that in the next week I will be uploading tons and tons of moving picture type stuff with my voice and me doing stuff that's .. well, just that.

There I said it!

Substance.

2011-09-02T15:26:00.002+02:00

No, not a fitting title for this post, as it has none. Not much anyway, it's more about the subject of substance.. I suppose that is a fitting title then. I used to dream about having a blog that was about stuff.. you know, things going on in the world, ideas, interesting stories that illustrate a wider subject, something universal, something important.

I think I had a sorta half assed version of that once.. it's been about 4 years or more since I've been writing about nothing but what's going on, or what's not going on with me, or the occasional pondering of why I have nothing to write about and isn't it crap.. ie, you're reading it.

I suppose it shouldn't matter.. one can blog about whatever one wishes to blog about, and if people wish to read, they can.. I just wish.. I dunno.. I did it a bit better.. and stuff.

Wow.. is it that time already?

2011-08-31T15:30:00.002+02:00

Last day o August, and last day of summer as far as I'm concerned.. I know here in the Northern Hemisphere the change of the seasons is always around the 21st or thereabouts but I always consider them for the first of the month, you can disagree all you like but that how it is.. so.. starting tomorrow, we are in Autumn.

Not to regrettable imho.. this summer's been, well, average, one too hot week and otherwise.. bleh.. whatev. And I like the autumn, or fall as some of you say, it's nice, it's pretty, it's charming.

Can't believe it's already almost September.. wow.. nearing the end of the year, getting into those months where tinkling tinsel things will be up in the shops although, this is more to do with the ridiculously long part of the year that season takes up, but still.. seems like the year just began and.. fuck, what have I done? Oh.. got a new job, fair enough, went some places, fine, but one (modest student) film and one.. er, project thingy. And a few castings for stuff I obvs wasn't called back for, that's it! And I still haven't gotten around to sending out those emails to all those agencies.. don't know why I keep putting it off.. oh yeah, need to do that *makes note*

well.. I finally put up some videos, no films, nothing that could really be called acting but.. it's a start but it's possible a start is all it will ever amount to.. well, I'll see. Oh yeah, need to work more on that stuff, and all the other million ideas I've written down and did some work in organizing.. well.. I've done that.

I suppose I haven't done badly by my standards, but, they are my standards and you know how that goes..

4 months still..

Dare I say it?

2011-08-30T12:06:00.002+02:00

Demon is now officially exorcised, for once and for all. I can wash my hands of it, sleeping soundly in the knowledge that it shall not return.. I can clean stuff up properly, knowing it won't get all messed up again and.. this weekend we should be able to do whatever we want to do, and not have to wait around for a bunch of dudes to fix it again.

I shouldn't have said that.. :/

So.. this morning they've been working away, made me get up early, went off for a bit, then came back and I was under the impression they'd have to do it in stages, like leave a bunch of stuff here and come back Thursday or whatever, but.. it's done... 'parently. Cooley will be pleased and I must say I'm rather chuffed myself.

And here I was, all ready to have a big ole grumble about the neverending mess here, the whole week being taken up with waiting around while dudes mess my place up, not being able to use the shower or toilet, and poor little Cooley, being repeatedly frazzled. So what do they do? They finish? And leave? Totally messed up my blog post.. if the internet was working better I'd have had it written already. Things just never work out do they?

Ok I can live with it.

Just Right.

2011-08-28T17:20:00.002+02:00

Can you believe it the weather gods got it right! Temporarily at least, and even on a Sunday which is unusually lucky. It's been hotter than hell the last week or so, which you may have heard about.. well, yesterday the temperature dropped to below hot, or just a bit too warm, or just warm enough, or kinda cool to being, well, cold... at least comparatively, and raining. Lots..

It was quite vexing, not in the least because people actually showed up for a tour in this downpour.. well, it did stop raining after a few minutes, but still.

Well.. today was, ok the morning was a bit of a shambles seeing as our plumbing stuff was again out of order, and then the fixit dudes came and went a couple of times, but this time with an actual excorc.. I mean plumber and we had to wait around, and then sit around, and then wait around again, but after that.. it was cool.

Now I gotta go out to work again.. til about midnight.. *sighs*

Still a nice day though.

It has returned.

2011-08-27T16:17:00.002+02:00

I mean I knew it would, it returned before after the fixit dude came and fixed it, and the last time he did much the same thing, and besides.. demons never really leave...

Yeah, demon is back. So tomorrow finally a proper excor.. I mean plumber is coming. Now hopefully this time.. it will for once and for all be gotten rid of.

It's particularly impolite of it to always show up on the weekend, though.. damn demon. Methinks it's doing it on purpose.

It's been slow.

2011-08-26T15:55:00.006+02:00

The internet. It's quite annoying, it's been blessing me with about an hour or 2 of working kinda ok a day all this week, and I never know when it's going to go out completely again, it's quite vexing.. but at least it's something for me to moan about as I've been relatively clear of big fucked up things recently.. after getting rid of the demon for once and for the moment.. I mean there's still the heat but I've more or less exhausted that subject.

So.. planning on becoming more organized the industrious again.. I made a list and everything, and the reason I haven't done anything more with anything is because the internet has been out, well real slow except for the aforementioned hour or 2 a day, and although for the most part I don't need the internet to do what I need to, or really don't need it at all, there are a few things I ideally would like to look up which may or may not have much to do with what needs doing. So there.

Ok so for me it's getting somewhere.

Summer finally showed up.

2011-08-23T17:18:00.003+02:00

And fuck is it hot! Really fucking hot.

I mean, I know, I should be pleased, this is what I wanted, the lack of this is what I've been moaning about for the last month.. but fuck! It's just too hot. It needs to stop.

Last night was hot, one of the first night since being here we had to have the windows open. Of course, it also had to be the noisiest fucking night since.. well.. since about moving in, there was some scuffle on the street, some hooligans, I dunno, yelling and banging things, our building I think.. then a bunch of people talking, the police and witnesses I expect.. and after ages when that died down there were numerous maintenance vehicles, very noisy ones passing by all night and early morning.. and people.. talking loud, yelling, being loud, yelling.. that sort of thing.

And it was hot. It's still hot, too hot, and in about an hour I need to put on a long dark coat and hat, and stand around for 20 minutes, hoping to fuck that tonight the tourists are not in the mood for walking around the castle for 3 hours.. otherwise I then have to.. yes, walk around the castle for the next 3 hours, at least 2 of which will remain really fucking hot, and the other which would be perfect for a lovely evening walk if you're wearing appropriate clothing for the weather, ie, not a long dark coat.

It's too hot, I think I mentioned that.

feels a bit sheepish and stuff

2011-08-22T22:59:00.004+02:00

And.. it got me. I've been doing these tours for a while, been in the underground.. the really spooky bit lots and lots of times, and sometimes with very small groups.. and I'm never actually scared myself, despite trying to convince others it's so damn scary but..

People get scared often, sometimes we hear something that just possibly is not quite explainable, some people are just spooked from being in there, and at least once every night someone walks across one of the metal covers on the floor making a loud noise which freaks people out. A sudden noise after silence.. and then everyone realizes it's just the floor.. the tour equivalent of the cat jumping out in the horror film, which is foreboding for the real scary action.

Well last night this made me jump. I felt pretty silly.. the same fucking thing that happens on every tour, and it fucking scared me... how ridiculous am I? It was after some strange noises that the group seemed pretty weirded out by.. and tbph, I was a little as well.

Actually I lie.. just 2 nights ago, in there with 2 people we heard something sounding like the rattling of metal, which was weird, and alter while telling a story, one of them thought she'd heard that noise again.. and I did the condensed version of the story so I could get out of that room quicker.

So yeah.. I'm little scaredy cat :)